Clearness
by victorygirl723
Summary: Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee come together one final time to return to Mordor to heal Frodo from the effects of the one Ring of power. This is part 1 of the story. Part 2 coming soon! I give credit to Tolkien for the characters and Middle Earth! There might be some violence so I rated it T.
1. Sleepless Nights

The night grew quiet in the Shire. The only sounds that could be heard were the chirping of crickets and the slight pitter-patter of water from a nearby river. It was peaceful. The moon was full and the reflection gleamed on the water. The light of the moon glimmered in Frodo's crisp, blue eyes. He glanced across the water to the trees that stood standing like big giants, waiting for the sun to come and relieve them from the nights' eternal slumber. Frodo pondered what his life had become. Surely he never expected to discover the one and only ring of power and carry it all the way to Mordor. The day he made the ring his responsibility, was the day his life would never be the same. The ring had left its mark on him, like a cut so deep it would never fully heal. A scar would be left on him forever. He still tried to seek a way to become the hobbit he had once been. He had been coming to this spot in the forest for about six months. Life carried on as it always had but the new beginning Frodo had been hoping for, never came. His dear friend Sam always held a spot for Frodo. Frodo had become Sam's responsibility like the ring became his. Frodo felt a heavy weight in his stomach. Sam's continuous care for him made him feel so guilty. Why should Sam have to take on the burdens of his life? Frodo never intended for Sam to accompany him anyway. He felt hot tears well up in his eyes. The thought of how little he had done for anyone else made him hate himself. Was this how Bilbo felt when he returned from his journey? Bilbo carried on with his life. Why did the ring have to take the heaviest toll on him? His old friend Gandalf once told him that he was meant to have it. He didn't understand why and how and thought he never would. All feelings of happiness had escaped him. Nothing could ever make him feel happy again. Except one thing: Sam. Samwise Gamgee. His best and dearest friend. The cloud of sadness above him seemed to disappear only for a short while. Frodo smiled, tears still streaming down his face. The thought of his friend brought warmth to him. All the little problems melted away if only for the moments he thought about Sam. The tears from his cheeks dripped into the river in front of him. Frodo wished Sam were here, holding him and relieving him temporarily from the events that stained his past. He felt a slight sharpness near his shoulder. The sword that had once pierced him still managed to bring feelings from the original trauma back to him. While he was gripping his shoulder, he heard a rustling in the bushes. He jerked his head to the left and his heart leapt thinking it was Sam trying to find him. It was only a rabbit. He frowned and turned back to the water. He sat there and stared at the moons' reflection. Twenty minutes past and Frodo began to drift off into sleep. His eyes became heavy and slowly began to close. He let his body fall to the ground. Grass and soil was no comfy mattress but it soothed the heaviness that surrounded him at all times. His dark curls fell over his eyes. A moment before he fell into a deep sleep, he smiled. He felt as if Sam was there in spirit, lulling him to sleep. He thought he heard a whisper in his ear.

_"Don't worry Mr. Frodo. You'll find the path you're s'pose to take. Trust me."_


	2. An Unlikely Stranger

Slept crept up on him and took him. For a few moments, the past faded away. Unfortunately, the nightmares came and distressed him. He dreamt he was at the top of Mount Doom. Except of clasping on the edge for dear life above a river of lava, he was above a black hole of darkness sucking him in. He heard the cries of the dead and the wailing of familiar voices. The ring was around his neck on the chain that held it. The ring became heavier and heavier. Frodo's grasp weakened. He was slipping because of the extra weight the ring laid upon him. He tried to scream for help, but no sound came out. His hand finally slipped and as he was about to fall in, he awoke in a hot sweat. He could hear his heart beat in his ears. He was afraid to fall asleep again, thinking another nightmare would come and rob him of sleep. He sat and shivered in the dark waiting for the morning to come. The darkness was seemed so much more intense to Frodo than it would to any ordinary person. It was cruel, frigid, and mean. Fear overcame him. He felt like he was trapped and could not escape. He choked out sobs. He wished this perilous journey of dealing with the repercussions from the ring would stop. He could live in peace. Live in the Shire and carry on with life as it had been before Bilbo had left. A life so familiar to him he could envision it. Friends all around Hobbiton, plenty of food that would satisfy his hunger, the warmth he felt being at his one true home. All he felt now was solitude and sadness. He knew solitude better than he knew the back of his hand. He was used to it. But he never expected to feel so alone. More alone than he had ever felt. His silent sobs grew louder. They escaped his throat without permission. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Mr. Frodo? Are you okay? Are you hurt? What in the world 're ye doing out in the forest in the middle of the night? Ye should be home."

Sam had found him. He had been coming home from a night at the Green Dragon. He was a little tipsy and had wandered into the forest where he heard the sound of someone crying. He followed his ears until he came upon Frodo curled up beneath the stars, choking sobs between breaths. Frodo sniffled and wiped his eyes.

"Oh Sam. It's you." Frodo turned to face his friend. Sam's eyes were droopy, the effects from drinking one too many ales. His hands twitched slightly.

"What 're ye doing out here? Ye never answered my question." Sam said slurring the tiniest.

"I always come out here. You know that. You've caught me here other times." Frodo replied trying to sound pleasant.

"That doesn't explain why you were crying" Sam said easing to the ground beside Frodo.

"I…I just…was thinking about everything…you…me…the journey. I owe you so much Sam and I doubt I'll ever repay that debt. You've cared for me in so many ways I can't count them. You always check up on me. You're always there…always…and when you are…I don't feel as alone as I usually do…Life doesn't seem…" Frodo couldn't finish that sentence. He felt so guilty and vulnerable. He had never told Sam how much he ever meant to him. That part of him he couldn't find words to describe it. He feared the idea that Sam would reject him if he revealed that much to him. He couldn't deal with life without Sam. The idea of it was unbearable. Sam brought slight happiness to his dreary life. He always kept his feelings a secret. Bottled up, hoping Sam might someday tell him he felt the same way. Sam had shifted his attention to the moon. He was so mesmerized by the bold, luminous object in the sky.

"You ever wonder how small everything is? I mean all of us. I mean we hobbits are small anyway compared to the big folk but I mean compared to up there. We're the smallest of small. " Sam glanced at Frodo. He took note of the way Frodo's locks fell slightly over his eyes. The way his blue eyes reflected the light. Sam was always sure of his love for Frodo. Friendship sure. But this was more than friendship love. This was a greater love for him. A passionate one. Everything about Frodo was perfect. He needed Frodo to understand that his problems made him feel needed. They gave him hope that Frodo needed him and couldn't exist without him. Frodo kept expressing to Sam that it was necessary to get on with his life and let him be. But he just couldn't. For Sam, that would be letting go of everything he held near and dear to his heart. Frodo needed to understand that he was his life. Frodo was looking at the moon now.

"I think Gandalf knew you could handle the task of the ring. He knew you were strong and could bear the heavy burden. Ye know, you are the strongest person I know. I could've never done anythin' like that. If I wasn't under your windowsill, I would've still been in Hobbiton going on as life was. I never had any courage to do nothin'. But you gave me bravery to get out of the Shire." Sam said sincerely. Frodo smiled and turned to Sam.

"Sam, do you think I could have gone all the way to Mordor and back without you? You kept me from going astray. The ring was taking me and you kept me from being overtaken by it." Frodo put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "You did just as much work my dear friend. Never forget that." Frodo leaned and gently kissed the top of Sam's head. Sam blushed the slightest. They both sat in front of the river looking up at the moon, heads rested against one another. One thought crossed Frodo's mind while he was enjoying the company of Samwise.

_I'm home._


	3. A Short Walk

Frodo never felt more at home than he did in this moment. Being with Sam alone was like being taken out of all the sadness. The heaviness on his heart seemed to disappear. He felt safe. After a couple minutes, Frodo felt safe enough to let sleep take him once again. Sam had drifted off to sleep as well. Frodo moved himself next to Sam. He trusted the area more when Sam was in reach. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. He tossed and turned a lot. He couldn't get comfortable but the nightmares did not come to torture him. While Frodo was asleep, Sam opened his eyes and sat up. Drinking one too many ales was a mistake. He felt tired but he could not rest. He decided to take a walk through the forest to comfort him. He stood up and turned away from the river. He tip-toed past Frodo to be sure he didn't wake him. He knew how hard it was for Frodo to sleep. Since the ring, many nights were sleepless for him. Sam himself found it hard to sleep once in a while. He would dream he was at the top of Mount Doom. He would try to help Frodo up from clinging on to the edge. Frodo would slip and fall and plummet to his death. Sam would scream and wake himself up. That was the worst of the series of nightmares that would occur. It felt so surreal he couldn't tell if it was life or a terrible nightmare. The thought of dreaming about that made Sam shudder. He never wanted to deal with that happening. As he was walking, he found a small path leading through the forest. He began to think about how to help Frodo. He hated seeing his closest friend being tormented. It broke his heart. He wished he could take the pain off of Frodo so he could get some relief. He started exploring all the possibilities. He thought he could take him to some kind of doctor or healer but he thought that would do no such good. After an hour of walking, and a tedious time of coming up with ideas, he finally thought of one. It was a rather far-fetched idea but he thought it just might work. Maybe the reason he was having all this pain was because he had never truly gotten over the trauma he experienced. Sam had a quite preposterous idea. He thought maybe, just maybe, if they went on another journey to Mordor, Frodo might finally be at peace. Yes! That ought to do it! Sam wasn't the brightest hobbit but he thought if they had no deadline, a long, uninterrupted journey might be what Frodo needed. The Shire was quiet and known for its peacefulness, but Frodo could never be at ease. A long vacation was well overdue. It was decided. They were going on another journey. Sam hiked his way back to where he had found Frodo. It was nearly dawn now. The sun was starting to peak its head over the horizon. The sky exploded colors of pink, orange, and yellow. It was beautiful. Sam hadn't seen a sunrise of this magnitude since before he had gone on the journey. After a while of walking, Sam found Frodo. He was still asleep, the way he had been when he had left. Frodo tended to sleep curled up in a ball. He didn't trust the world he used to. It seemed so much more unsafe. Sam half-smiled at this. He walked over to Frodo and gently shook his shoulder. Frodo's eyes slowly opened. His pupils were dilated from sleepiness. Dark circles had surfaced under Frodo's sea blue eyes. Frodo shifted toward Sam. He yawned trying to shake sleep's bewitching spell. He looked up at Sam and rubbed his eyes.

"...nngmmgnn...Sam?" He said sluggishly.

"G'morning Mr. Frodo. Did you sleep well?" Sam asked cheerfully.

"I don't sleep much these days, Sam. Thank you for asking though." Frodo said glumly. Frodo looked up at the sky to see the morning. He felt the early morning, summer breeze. The robins chirped as they landed in their nests. A rabbit ran through some nearby bushes. His heart lightened. The pleasant morning made him feel a little happier from his lack of sleep from the previous night. Sam stood there watching Frodo gander at the world. He looked at the light beaming on Frodo's face. The way his eyes looked up at the world; soaking in all the details. The way his thumb rubbed his forefingers over and over again. The way his nose scrunched up when it itched. Before he knew it, he was taking note of everything about Frodo. He quickly realized what he was doing. Embarrassed, he looked away and started to talk.

"Mr. Frodo, I know how much you've been sufferin' lately, and I had an idea..." He trailed off when he saw Frodo suddenly move his head in his direction. Sadness had come across his face.

"Sam, there isn't any hope of me recovering. You are more hopeful than me, but my pain is so deep, nothing will be able to alleviate it."

"Y'know me. I go lookin' for the best." Sam slightly smiled. Frodo looked grimly up at him.

"M'idea was if we took a holiday from Hobbiton. We travel to Mt. Doom and back." Before Sam could finish his statement, the expression on Frodo's face had gone from sad to horrified.

"T's not what you think! I know y'got grief your hangin' onto, but I thought maybe if we went on a journey to Mount Doom, you could let go of your pain and trouble" Sam said hopefully. Frodo sighed. He looked out at the sun, then back at Sam.

"T'would be nice to finally relinquish this pain in my heart" Frodo said aside. He looked now at the sun's reflection in the water. He turned to Sam.

"Now Sam, there's no guarantee this'll work. It's highly unlikely. But I'm willing to try." Frodo replied. They smiled at each other. Sam helped Frodo off the ground. They started to leave the forest. Frodo looked back at where he had spent his night. He silently bid his farewell to his second home. Sam was a couple steps ahead of him when he noticed Frodo had stopped. He turned and gave him a moment. Frodo reached into his pocket. He took out the empty chain that used to hold the ring around it. He placed it around his neck. A feeling of déjà vu returned to him. Even though he did not have the ring, he felt hypnotized by the effects of it. He heard the faint call of the ring in his ear. His eyes widened. A wave of fear overcame him.

"S...sam...you're going to have to help me with this. I can feel the distance hold of the ring coming back." Frodo said fearfully. He fell against a tree. Sam hurried over to Frodo. He placed his hand on his shoulder. Sam expected this would happen. He was fully prepared to deal with this. He hypothesized that the effects of the ring would be no where near as severe but would return to haunt Frodo.

"Mr. Frodo, I will always be here to help. I made that promise to Gandalf years ago and I intend to keep it till the day I pass on." Frodo looked at Sam. He knew Sam meant well. He always does. He just didn't know if he was fully ready to go back on this journey. He had run away from the problems before. He was too scared to face them before. He thought to himself. He thought if Sam could do this, he sure could. He straightened up and began to walk forward. Sam followed closely behind him. It was off to Hobbiton to get supplies for the journey, then off they went.


	4. Gathering

When they arrived back in Hobbiton, Sam went to his house and Frodo set of to Bag-End. They were to meet up as soon as they were done packing. Sam was getting all the supplies he wanted. These days, Sam tended to have more (and better) food. Sam packed as much food as he could find. All sorts of cheeses, breads, fruit, nuts, and vegetables that wouldn't spoil fast. Last time they had managed surviving on Lembas bread. Now Lembas bread wasn't bad, but eating it for each meal became tiring. Sam also placed a couple cooking utensils and a blanket. He remembered some nights were chilly and he did not like to be cold. Now, it was summer in the Shire but he knew the journey would take a long time. After packing his things, Sam gazed upon his precious Hobbit hole. He would miss his nice bed and warm home. The Shire was his only and favorite home. He didn't take long, only about ten minutes, because he wanted Frodo to have more time to prepare for this journey. He was getting the feeling Frodo was afraid to leave. He hadn't said anything, but Sam knew from the way he had looked when he brought up the idea of going back to Mt. Doom. He closed the door to his house and started walking to Frodo's house. Frodo had been at Bag-End while Sam was obtaining food. Frodo had started grabbing things he wanted to bring on the journey but he had gotten side-tracked. He was sitting in an armchair gathering himself. A wave of panic had come over him. _I can't go on this journey. _He thought. _What am I thinking?! This is a terrible idea! _He knew in his heart he was still scarred from everything. He wanted to be brave for Sam though. He knew he was secretly Sam's hero. He saw the way Sam admired him. Although this was true, he he didn't think any of this was going to help. There was no way that going on this journey was going to help him. How was going all the way to the place that gave him night terrors going to relieve him of the pain? Frodo sighed. He rubbed his head because he was utterly worried and exhausted. He thought to himself that Sam was only doing this for Frodo's own good and well-being. He appreciated how much he was doing for him. Frodo agreed that he did need to leave the Shire and get some perspective and release his pain. Deep down, he felt that it actually might cure him. He decided before he talked himself out of it that he was going. His mind was made. He got up from the chair and walked around Bag-End. He knew Sam would be arriving shortly. Sam seemed eager to leave quickly. He wanted to take advantage of the time saying goodbye to Bag-End. He would see it again, but not for a long time. He walked over to the fireplace. He sat on the stool in front of it. He remembered when Gandalf had given him the ring. He remembered how much he had asked Gandalf about the ring. Frodo knew so little about it. The power of it worried Gandalf. Frodo had no idea back then what he was getting involved in. He stood up from the stool and walked over to the study. He went over to where he had finished writing Bilbo's book. He remembered telling his tales of traveling through the many realms of Middle Earth. Recalling everything had its trials and tribulations within itself. Many times while writing, Frodo had to put his feather down and relax for several minutes. The hardships came back to remind him of all the pain endured. He walked out of the room and went to the window. He went to the kitchen and sat down at his table. He remembered fond memories. of talking with Bilbo of all sorts. He remembered Bilbo complaining about the Sackville-Bagginses and laughing at the the remarks he made about them. He missed Bilbo. More than anything. He wished he could see him once more. Bilbo was the closest family member he had because of his parents death. He had considered in the past of traveling to Rivendell to live with Bilbo once again. He knew Bilbo would want him to find happiness though. He wouldn't want Frodo kept up in Bag-End or in Rivendell, lonely and unhappy. Frodo knew he was doing the right thing. He knew Sam would be coming up the hill any minute and he had hardly done any packing. He decided to take a quilt and a cape to shield him from any rain or winds. He also decided to take Sting with him. He figured it would be of some use in case they encountered any unfriendly creatures. He also took the Light of Eärendil that Lady Galadriel had given him long ago. He wanted to travel lightly. He also knew Sam would be stocking up on food and water. He put on his hobbit size cape and was about to head out to meet Sam. Before he did, he walked back over to Bilbo's book and sat down. He picked up the feather and dipped it in black ink. He wrote a single sentence at the bottom of one page:

_And Sam and Frodo went on one more journey together, their final and best one they ever had._


	5. Awoken

Sam was waiting outside the house for Frodo. He was saying his goodbye's to the Shire. It was a beautiful day outside which made it even harder to leave. He could hear the laughter of children playing. The smell of grass and flowers. He saw dandelion seeds blowing in the wind past his face which made him sneeze. Sam's heart was heavy. He knew his home would be waiting when he returned. He never thought he would be leaving again. He thought he would stay in the Shire until the end of his days. This of course was not the case. He wanted to do this though. For Frodo. He knew he could finally live in peace when Frodo was at ease. At that moment, Frodo walked out the door of Bag-End. They exchanged pleasant looks and started up the road. They intended to go the same way they had gone before. Frodo knew for Sam it would be difficult to get him out of the Shire. Sam loved the Shire, much more then he did. Frodo was in love with the Shire at one point in his life. Seeing the rest of the world changed him though. He knew he would have to keep coaxing Sam to keep walking because to Sam, this was his true home. Frodo became aware of where he was walking. Wait, he was walking. He was actually walking up the road. Journeying. Quite paced and lackadaisically but he was walking. His pace quickened and he began to skip. Then he started to run quite fast down the road. Sam was startled at this motion. Frodo was laughing and running down the road. Nearby hobbits looked quizzical and thought Frodo had become mad. Frodo had this unexpected urge to run. His adrenaline was rushing and the thrill of going on an adventure spread throughout his whole body. Frodo hadn't felt slightly excited for a long while. He was overcome by all these feelings of excitement he just had to let it out. Before he knew it, he was sprinting. Sam started to run after him. He himself was so confused as to why Frodo had all of a sudden taken off.

"Mr. Frodo! What 're ye doin?! Where 're ye goin'?" Sam shouted as he was running. He was out of breath. Running was an activity not familiar to him. Now eating, that was a very familiar activity he loved to do. The lack of running and overeating made for an out of shape hobbit. Sam stopped and put his hands on his knees trying to recover what breath he had lost. He could barely see Frodo. Frodo was way off in the distance. He had gotten to the fields near the edge of Hobbiton. He seemed to have slowed down though. Frodo had in fact slowed down. He was in the golden fields of Hobbiton. He set down his small pack. He was hysterical. He was laughing between catching breaths. He had never felt this alive in years. He ran through the fields. The wind blew more fiercely here than it did near Bag-End. He loved it. He ran his hands through the grain. He grinned and laughed ever so gently. Laughing was so unfamiliar. It was a sound that hadn't escaped from him in a very long while. It felt good to laugh again. He looked up at the mighty sun. His eyes sparkled in the light and his dark hair blew in the wind. A fraction of the light that used to be in Frodo's eyes had returned for a split second. He fell down and laid in the grain. The sun was so bright today. The darkness that usually surrounded him didn't seem so intense. He smiled. He was so excited. But for what? To leave Hobbiton? To leave the place he had loved to live in? No it was something beyond that. Something had awoken in him. The spirit of adventure had returned to him. Just like Bilbo, his heart had been yearning to journey again. But, Frodo still didn't feel complete though. Many of the pieces of his heart were still shattered and unfilled. His smile disappeared. He wished he hadn't thought of the incompleteness in his heart. Sadness returned to him. The sun didn't look the way it did five minutes before. Everything looked so grim. It was as if a black cloud was covering everything around him. He heard a faint voice behind him.

"Mr. Frodo, Mr. Frodo!" It was Sam. He had forgotten that Sam was with him. Sam was running through the fields to get to Frodo. As he stopped, he dropped everything and fell to his knees.

"Mr...Frodo. What...in...the world...were...ye doin'?!" He huffed out as he tried to catch what little breath he had. Frodo couldn't help but laugh at this. Sam's face was so red with anger and exhaustion. He couldn't talk because of how tired he was. He motioned to his bag for water. Frodo stood up and walked to Sam's bag. He opened it and found many things. First and foremost, he found many pieces of food. They were all wrapped in leaves to keep from spoiling. Then, he found a blanket and some cooking utensils. Finally, as he was grabbing their water sack, he stumbled across a piece of paper. It was a note to Rosie Cotton, Sam's crush. Frodo picked it up and read it.

_My dearest Rosie, _

Frodo was puzzled and a little upset. Why had Sam not written more? He knew Sam cared for Rosie, but he always hoped that he had cared for him more. He wanted to Sam to have let him go and started a family of his own or done something else productive with his life, but he didn't know as to why he wanted Rosie. Frodo immediately felt guilty for being jealous. How dare he try to take away Sam's happiness. It was selfish of him to keep Sam for himself. Although he did secretly hope Sam would drop everything and spend the rest of his days with him. No, he couldn't think this. He couldn't have Sam and want him to move on too. He sighed. He picked up the water because he figured Sam would have been recovered and wondering where his water he requested was. He handed the water sack to Sam. Sam was still panting but not as heavily. He grabbed the water sack from Frodo's hands and gulped in down. As he removed it from his face, droplets fell from his mouth. He wiped them away. He began to speak.

"Mr. Frodo, what on earth were ye doin? Ye had me worried when ye took off."

Frodo looked down, smiled and said, "I don't know what came over me Sam. I guess I was thrilled to be adventuring again." Sam looked at him to confirm whether Frodo was being honest with him. He knew Frodo wouldn't tell a lie if it wasn't important but he wanted to make sure. He saw it in his eyes. He saw some light had returned to them. He knew he wasn't lying. Sam relaxed himself.

"Well, alright. I just wanted to be sure nothin' had happened to ye."

"Sam, you've got to stop worrying about me. I thank you for your concern but I needed no assistance." Frodo said lightly. The reassurance from him calmed Sam down. He knew he shouldn't be so tense, but he felt it was his responsibility to make sure Frodo was okay. Frodo picked up the letter Sam had started writing for Rosie.

"Sam, I found this in your bag." He showed Sam what he was referring to. Sam saw the letter, then quickly looked away.

"Why didn't you finish this? It sounded like you were starting something amazing to share to Rosie." Frodo questioned. Sam hesitated to find the answer to this question. He grabbed the letter from Frodo. He shoved it back into the bottom of his sack. Frodo was confused.

"It's nothin'." He muttered under his breath. He started packing everything away into his pack. He was furiously putting things away and reorganizing them in no particular order. He became frustrated when a pan wasn't fitting in the bag. He started to push it down but still it refused go in. He began pushing even harder in a fit of rage. Frodo went over to Sam and grabbed his arms.

"Sam! Stop! Twas only a question. You need not answer. It's not my business anyway. I shouldn't have been searching through your bag." Frodo said. Sam wouldn't look into his eyes. He was too embarrassed. He didn't want Frodo to have seen the unfinished letter. He had began writing it long ago, before he had become close with Frodo. He didn't want Frodo to get the wrong idea. He couldn't afford to lose Frodo. Yes Rosie was beautiful of all sorts, but losing Frodo would be like losing a part of himself. He had to cover this up. He tried to regain his composure. Frodo was looking at him worriedly. He was searching for an answer in Sam's eyes aimlessly. Sam knew he needed to say something.

"It's quite alright Mr. Frodo. Twas just a thing I started long ago. I wanted to express to Rosie how wonderful she is. How I felt bout her and everythin'. I couldn't find the right words so...I gave up on it. Besides, Rosie found herself someone else already so I found no use in it." Sam expressed to Frodo.

"Sam, you know you should never give up. I know how wonderfully you write. Your additions to Bilbo's book were pure poetry. Whatever you would have written would be a piece of your heart. It would be so beautiful and true. So honest. Rosie is an intelligent girl, she would have seen your gift. She would be very lucky to have you." Frodo said earnestly. He hid his true feelings. His heart sank as he spoke those words to Sam. He was practically giving Sam away. At the back of his mind, he knew this was the right thing to do though. If he finished the letter and gave it to Rosie when they returned from Mordor, Sam would have a future. He would move on and finally have settled down. They would be married and have children. As for him, Frodo couldn't see a future. He had no idea what he would do when he came back from Mount Doom. Would he return to Bag-End? Would he get married? Would he venture to Rivendell and live with Bilbo? He hadn't the slightest idea. He was more focused on getting to Mordor and back. The future was unclear and much to far to even fathom. The future would bring untold events. It had so much uncertainty. It held many questions of 'What ifs?' and 'What will come?' It entailed Sam's departure from his life. No, he couldn't think about this now. That was much too far away. This was his and Sam's final journey to be together. Months on end of walking and traveling together. Spending every moment of each day with each other. He needed to enjoy this for now. Maybe it wasn't so much the destination that would heal him. Maybe it was the journey. He looked at Sam. He knew this was the right decision. He knew Sam was wise beyond his years. Sam had been trying to figure out how to respond to Frodo. He was so touched. All Sam could manage was a simple smile. He conjured up a short phrase.

"Thank you Mr. Frodo. Means a lot comin' from ye." Sam said jauntily. Sam's heart lifted. He felt wholesome. He remembered how Frodo could turn his whole mood around with a couple of words.

"I think it's about time we set off. I think we have spent enough time lying in this field of gold." Frodo said reaching for his bag. He stood up, and helped Sam up from the ground. They exchanged soft smiles and started walking once again. Frodo led him and Sam through the field. They were silent as they walked. There was a feeling of camaraderie between them. Words needed not be spoken. No words could connect them more than they felt in this moment. The journey had just begun. It was a long one and was through many lands that were previously hostile. Many feelings of fear, sadness, and joy would be unearthed again. Both hobbits were prepared. Sam knew he would have to deal with Frodo's anxiety with the ring and Frodo knew he would have to deal with Sam's eagerness to be home and his feelings of worry for him. They understood their tasks and gladly accepted them. They were spending their next few months with the person they most cared about. Though they would not share their feelings with each other, it was definitely a mutual attraction.


	6. Remembrance

Frodo discovered while they were walking that they didn't have a set route. He figured they would be taking the same way they did the previous time. He decided to travel up to Rivendell first. He wanted to talk to Bilbo before they set off for the journey for Bilbo was getting quite old. He also knew Sam would want to see the Elves again since he had a fascination with them. Rivendell was a good ways away. Frodo decided it would be worth while to stop in Bree and spend a night at the Prancing Pony, where they had met one of their companions in the Fellowship, Aragorn. Aragorn had sworn to protect Frodo long ago. Frodo had thought Aragorn would have been swayed by the Ring's power and would have wanted to take it for himself. He was scared when he had seen Boromir lash out at him. He needed Aragorn to promise that he was only protecting Frodo. Aragorn had been in love with this beautiful elf girl named Arwen. She was the daughter of Elrond who had established the Fellowship. Aragorn talked little of her since their love was not fondly looked upon. He always wore a necklace that she had given him. It had a beautiful charm on it. When they had returned from Mordor and Sauron had been defeated, Aragorn married Arwen and they bore a handsome son. Frodo never really became very close to Aragorn. Aragorn was a quiet man. He never said much and during the journey was always focused on moving. Frodo knew he was a good man though. His heart was pure and he always looked out for Frodo. He was his protecter in the land of the big-folk. Frodo didn't know how to fight so he always relied on Aragorn for protection. And when he wasn't there, Sam guarded and watched over him. Frodo frowned. He felt so weak that he could not defend for himself. Someone else always was guarding him. Sure, he had Sting. He had never really used it much. He wished he was as fierce as Bilbo. Gandalf told Bilbo that it's more important to know when to spare a life than when to take one. He knew this was true, for as Gandalf said, "some who live deserve death, and some who died deserve life". Frodo sighed. His heart yearned to see Gandalf again. Gandalf was like his grandfather, except not by blood. He was so wise, so kind, and always cared for him. He was the second closest person to his heart. Frodo's heart ached when he thought of Gandalf. He only was able to see him every once in a long while. It would only be for a mere couple of days too. He took advantage of whenever those moments arose. How could there be all this sadness? Why did Frodo have a heavy heart for all of his friends? Why couldn't he see them everyday? He had fond memories of each and everyone in the Fellowship. They had all gone their separate ways after the return home. Frodo decided not to think about subjects that contained his past friends. The grief that he held for their departures still was near to him. He decided to focus on the walking. Sam and Frodo continued on through the fair grasses of the Shire. They had exited the field Frodo had run through and now were walking through prairies. Wildflowers of all color bloomed all throughout the grasses. The grass was taller here and it tickled the two hobbits' feet when they walked. The sun was high in the sky. It was about noon now. Sam requested them to stop and rest. They sat down near a big rock. It was hot, and the rock provided shade for them. Sam opened up his sack. Frodo was stunned with how much food he saw in Sam's bag. He laughed and pointed it out. Sam reminded him of how they only ate Lembas bread and they grew sick of it. Frodo agreed and thanked the hobbit for bringing a variety of foods along. Frodo laid out his blanket so they could sit on it. Sam was setting out all the food on the blanket while Frodo stretched out. He began looking at the clouds. His eyes contemplated all the meaningless possibilities of life. He spiraled into a state of thinking. He was startled when Sam tapped him.

"Mr. Frodo, lunch is ready." Sam said warmly. Frodo sat up. He looked at the food Sam had put out. Olives, bread, cheeses, and grapes, plenty for both of them.

"Sam, you didn't have to put-"

"Mr. Frodo, I wanted to. Fret not." Sam said sweetly. Frodo looked up and smiled. He plucked one olive from a small plate. He bit down and it popped through his teeth. He ripped off a piece of bread and put a small piece of cheese on top of it. When he was eating, he slowly indulged in every bite. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on every single flavor. He wanted to feel something. He wanted to taste something. Unfortunately, the journey took away his overall sense of taste. Everything that he ate seemed to taste the same: bland and unappealing. He sighed at the lack of taste. He wished he could regain that sense again. He put it on his list of things he hoped would come back after visiting Mount Doom. He watched Sam finish eating his meal. Sam looked as if he was enjoying the food. Sam looked up from his food. He offered Frodo some bread. Frodo shook his head politely.


	7. Broken Moments

After about fifteen minutes, they both packed up and started off again. They walked through the prairie grasses. After a while, the grasses disappeared and it turned into thick forest. They found a path that would lead them through the forest. Frodo decided to lead because Sam was a bit fearful. They heard all sorts of noises. Sam flinched every time he heard an array of noises. They would gather up and would sound like a cacophony of noise. Sam heard some bushes rustle. Sam slightly jumped and ran closer to Frodo.

"Worry not Sam. It's just a squirrel. We are still in the Shire. Nothing can hurt you here." Frodo said reassuringly. Frodo looked up above him. He couldn't tell if it was afternoon or if it was evening. It was significantly cooler and darker in the forest, but that is how forests typically are. He decided to walk a little longer to find a spot where the sun would shine through if it was day. He and Sam followed the path for about thirty minutes. They found a clearing where it seemed appropriate to set up for the night. Sam set his pack down and decided to find some wood to make a fire. Frodo looked up. The sun was setting and the sky was a bright orange. Night was approaching. He was hoping he would get a good night's sleep but he knew that was unlikely. There was a tree that was easily climbable. Frodo decided to be a little daring. He went over to the tree and grabbed the closest branch to him. He pulled himself up off the ground. He saw the top wasn't very far up. He stood up and kept grabbing the nearest branch within reach. He hoisted himself up, climbing higher and higher until he reached the top. There was an opening where the leaves weren't covering the view. He sat and gazed at the beauty. He saw miles of the Shire. He saw the golden fields where he and Sam had spent a couple minutes at. He saw the many hills of Hobbiton off in the distant. He realized how stunning the Shire really was. Prairie, farmland, and forests made up all of it. So many different types of landscape were composed in Eriador but especially the Shire. He was in total awe. He was completely speechless. His mind was empty. He wished that he had found a view like this back in the forest by Bag-End. He took in all the ravishing beauty of the land. He knew he would miss this place. He took a mental picture of this moment. Whenever he would hate being where he was, he would come back to this place and be taken away from lands unfamiliar and unpleasant. He heard a thud on the ground below. He looked down and saw Sam had placed a big pile of wood. Sam called out for Frodo.

"I'm here Sam!" Frodo called down to Sam. Sam looked up. Frodo waved to him.

"Come up here! The view is extraordinary. You can see all the Shire!" Frodo said gleefully. Sam grabbed the first branch he saw. Sam had a little more difficulty getting himself up the tree. After about two minutes of struggling, he got up to where Frodo was. Frodo pointed and showed him everything. Sam's jaw dropped. He was stunned. He had never seen anything so magnificent in his life. Sam already felt homesickness creep up on him. He missed his hobbit hole. He hadn't been away for one night and he wished he was home. He sighed.

"It really is amazin'. This is why I love the Shire. It never fails t'surprise me." Sam said thoughtfully. Sam put his arm around Frodo's shoulder involuntarily. Frodo flinched from surprise. His cheeks turned a light red and became warm. He looked at Sam sincerely. He had the smallest of a smile. He looked away and quietly sighed. He was a little nervous with Sam's arm around him. He thought Sam would hear his heartbeat from how quickly and loudly it was beating. Butterflies filled his stomach. He was slightly squirming with nervousness. Sam became aware of the placement of his arm and moved it off him quickly. Frodo looked unhinged when Sam was moving his arm.

"Sam, its alright. You didn't..." Frodo turned bright red and trailed off. He was vulnerable and his feelings were beginning to open up like a book. He turned away from Sam. He was so uncomfortable and embarrassed. All of a sudden, a sharp pain filled his abdomen. He cringed up. He groaned in pain. Sam became alarmed.

"Mr. Frodo, are you alright? What's wrong?" Sam asked concerned. Frodo couldn't speak nor move. He was clenching his shoulder. His whole body had become tense. Severe pain filled his body. He let out a yell of pain. His body fell against the the trunk of the tree. The only movement he could manage was to grab on to a branch to regain his balance to refrain from falling off the tree.

"Mr. Frodo! What's hurtin' ye? Tell me!" Sam expressed distraughtly. Frodo opened his mouth to speak.

"Shh...shoul...der!" He cried. Sam turned Frodo told him. Frodo's forehead was covered in sweat. He couldn't tolerate the pain. Sam ripped open the buttons from Frodo's shirt. Frodo moved his hand away from his shoulder. The scar that remained there was red and a dark black. Frodo hollered out in pain. He grabbed his shoulder once more. Frodo's head fell onto Sam's lap. Sam didn't know what to do. He put his hand on Frodo's head and started to stroke his hair. He ran his fingers through Frodo's curls trying to comfort him. Frodo still yelped out in pain. After a couple of minutes, Frodo's body became limp. The pain had left him. He let out a huge sigh of exhaustion and relief. His entire body was covered in sweat. He was extremely hot. The fatigue refused to let him move. He laid there in silence heavily breathing. Sweat drops dripped from his forehead onto Sam's lap. Sam was so nervous and freaked out. He had no idea what had just happened. It was twilight and the sun was almost completely gone. Frodo tried to push himself up from the ground. Sam grasped his hand and helped him up. Frodo was so weak. All his muscles just gave out and he fell into Sam's open arms. Sam immediately embraced him. He shed a few tears. He was so worried about Mr. Frodo. He thought that he was dying when he was screeching on the ground. He held Frodo tightly, hoping to never let go and lose him.

"Please...please don't let me go, Sam." Sam looked at Frodo.

"Please...Sam...I just need you...to hold me...right now." Frodo continued quietly. Sam let a few more tears escape.

"I'm right here Mr. Frodo. I ain't leavin' ye." He choked out a sob. "I ain't leavin'."


	8. Burning Up

He shifted himself and Frodo toward the Sun. The sun had finally hidden it's head beneath the horizon. An aura of colors sprouted up from it. Light and dark blues, pinks, and oranges. Tears coursed down Sam's face. Worry and panic hadn't fled from him. He had no idea if another episode like that was to occur again or why it had happened. He was hoping when they arrived in Rivendell, Lord Elrond could look at Frodo and deduce the cause of it. For now, he needed to do the best he could to prevent it. Frodo was still sweating adversely. Heat radiated from his skin. Sam thought he might have escalated his body temperature. He unbuttoned all of Frodo's shirt completely, exposing his chest. His chest was drenched with sweat. Frodo seemed delirious from the fever he had. His eyes fluttered and finally, his head fell to one side and Frodo fell unconscious. Sam eyed his chest. It wasn't very muscular, but it certainly was fit for a hobbit. Frodo wasn't ever fat for a hobbit, but especially since the journey, he was one of the skinniest hobbits in Hobbiton. He could just barely see his ribs peak out from the sides of his chest. Sam wanted to fatten Frodo up with some good food, but seeing as they were on a journey, he figured all the walking and the limited food would not have Frodo gain any weight. He would just have to wait till they returned from Mordor to put some meat on Frodo's bones. Sam ripped part of his own shirt and started to dab at the sweat on Frodo's head and neck. A slow breeze was blowing, so he figured that would cool Frodo off. He was dabbing off his forehead when he got this sudden urge. Frodo was unconscious. That means, he isn't aware of anything I'll do. Sam took this opportunity. He leaned down and kissed Frodo's forehead. His stomach fluttered. He had never kissed Frodo, not on his head, nor hand, nor his lips. He had waited a long time to do that. He didn't feel satisfied though. He wanted more. He stopped and decided this was not the time to express to Frodo how much he cared for him. Not when he was delirious in a tree. Frodo's eyelids twitched faintly but he didn't awake. Sam started to dry Frodo's chest as well. He started to ponder the issue he had at hand. How on earth was he going to get Frodo down off of this tree? He didn't want to further injury Frodo more, nor was he interested in hurting himself. He decided it was best if they stayed in the tree tonight. Sam reached into his pack which he had taken out and pulled out his elvish rope that had been gifted to him from Lady Galadriel. He wrapped it around himself and Frodo and tied them to the tree. Frodo's head now was laying on Sam's chest. He didn't want to move Frodo any further, so he rested up against the tree and tried to lull himself to sleep. The weight of Frodo's head on his chest comforted Sam. He felt happy. He felt useful and needed. Just as Sam was about to fall asleep, he heard Frodo murmur something. The fever must have been making him dream about strange things.

"Nggmmmnghh...Sam...he can't...don't tell him...I feel..." Was all Sam caught. He couldn't make out anything else he spoke. He figured it was nonsense. He put his head on the tree and fell asleep.


	9. Frustration

A few hours later, Sam awoke. A bird had flown past and made the trees leaves' rustle making Sam wake up. He looked up at the sky. It was pitch black and he guessed it was probably around midnight. He looked down at Frodo. Frodo was in the same position he had been in earlier. He was covered in a new layer of sweat. Sam felt Frodo's forehead. He was burning up. Sam became worried all of a sudden. He knew Frodo shouldn't be sweating this much. All this water loss from his body and the high fever was far from good. He hated to wake Frodo, but he knew he needed to get some water in him. He gently shook Frodo's shoulders. Frodo's eyes fluttered and he awoke. His eyes wouldn't stay completely. He was still delirious. His head moved from side to side. Sam looked troubled. He was apprehensive for Frodo. He took out his water sack from his pack.

"Ssssam...what's...going...where...am I..." Frodo said slowly and half-asleep.

"Mr. Frodo, I need ye to drink some water. Do ye feel hot?" Sam asked mindfully. Frodo nodded his head while still moving his head around.

"Alright, I need ye to try to abstain from movin' yer head around. I'm going to pour some water in yer mouth alright?" Sam said instructively. Frodo stopped his head from moving. His eyelids couldn't stop moving though. Sam tilted Frodo's head towards his so he wouldn't choke on his water. He slowly and gently poured water into his mouth. Frodo swallowed some of it and ended coughing up the rest. Sam became stressed. He knew this wasn't going to work. He tried a few more times and they resulted in the same product, his clothes getting wet. He decided he needed more water to cool him off. When he was collecting firewood, he had come across a small pond. He determined he needed to take Frodo to the pond. This could not wait till morning so he needed to be quick on his feet. He still had the problem of getting them both off the tree. The only reasonable solution he could derive was to carry Frodo down. He packed up quickly, untied the rope from the tree, and tied Frodo to his shoulder. He did not need his dearest friend falling from the top of this very tall tree. He slowly and cautiously climbed down. He was half down when one of his hands slipped. His other hand quickly repelled up to grab the branch. When he grabbed it, he felt a pain in his hand. He quickly climbed down the rest of the tree and and jumped to the ground. He untied Frodo and set him down gently. He looked at his hand and saw it was dripping blood. He tied it up with a piece of cloth from his shirt. He put Frodo on his other shoulder and walked to the pond. It was about a two minute walk from where they were at and in the dark, that it was not pleasant. They arrived at the pond. The moon was being covered by some clouds so it was hard to see where they were going. Sam laid Frodo down and removed his shirt. He needed to reduce Frodo's fever and the more clothing he wore, the longer it would take to go down. He pulled Frodo out to a shallow part of the river. It was a little chilly and made the hair on Sam's arms stand up. Goosebumps also arose on his skin. He sat down and laid Frodo across him. The water covered both hobbits. Sam couldn't enjoy this moment because he was worried for Frodo's sake. He needed him to regain full consciousness and then he could lighten up. Sam wasn't sure how long to leave Frodo in the water for, so they ended up staying in for about an hour. Sam dragged Frodo out from the water. He dried himself off and felt Frodo's head. It was still warm, but the temperature had dramatically decreased. Sam sighed in relief. Frodo was still fast 'asleep'. Sam decided it was no use to return to the place they found the tree. He chose to stay here for the night. He realized then he hadn't had dinner. His stomach was growling. He had barely noticed the lack of food since the whole scar incident. He took out an apple from his pack and bit into it. He knew he would be eating in a few hours anyway. He hoped Frodo would be up by then. He had no clue what he was going to do if he was unconscious. It would be much more difficult to travel and would take twice as long to get to Rivendell for aid in healing Frodo. He chucked the apple core he had gnawed through into the pond. He was so unbelievably frustrated. He felt like a lousy companion. He was barely helping Frodo. He knew Frodo would be doing absolutely he could to get him for him if the roles were reversed. He grunted and pulled a blanket out from his bag. He also pulled out the quilt Frodo had brought for himself. Frodo was shivering in the cold. His lips had turned a pale blue. Sam felt Frodo's head. It was still warm to the touch. He wrapped the blanket tightly around Frodo but left his head exposed to the cool air. He was so frightened for Frodo. He knew this wasn't good. It was like Frodo had a case of the Heat Shakes. Back in the Shire, some hobbits occasionally got what they would call the Heat Shakes. Hobbits would spike a fever and would be shivering. No amount of blankets could stop the shivering. They would not eat any food nor drink any water. They would start saying the craziest of remarks while they would sleep and usually the people who caught it didn't live more than two weeks. Some thought it was an evil demon possessing their body, some thought it was some bad omen suggesting an unfortunate event would strike the family within a couple months. Whatever the cause, it made Sam very alarmed. He could not have Frodo die. It was absolutely not an option. He would wait to see what morning would bring and if he hadn't awoken, he would run to Rivendell as fast as his hobbit legs would take him. He moved himself right next to Frodo. He covered himself with his blanket and lay watching him. He could not fall asleep for all the terrible thoughts of Heat Shakes had wound him up and made him incredibly scared. He watched Frodo till morning. It was daybreak when he saw Frodo shift. Sam quickly sat up to see what he was doing. Sam was worn out. He had only gotten a mere three hours of sleep up in the tree and spent the rest of the night tending for Frodo. Frodo rolled over to the side facing Sam. He opened his eyes. His eyes were still the unmistakable blue and his curls were still the dark brown they had always been. His eyes were blood-shot though and his eye sockets looked bruised. It looked as if he had gotten into a fight and someone had punched him in both eyes. Purples and dark blues took up the place of his pale skin. He looked up at Sam. His lips were chapped and cracking from the lack of water. But it was Frodo. The same old Frodo.

"Sam...g'morning...do you recall what happened to me last night...? I remember my shoulder hurting and you comforting me...and then...the rest is unclear and then...darkness..." Frodo said drained. His voice sounded low and dark. Frodo looked up at Sam with questioning and solemn eyes. They were filled with questions and darkness. Sam's heart fell. He saw the same darkness in his eyes he saw when he was in possession of the Ring. Frodo saw the way Sam was looking at him. He knew why Sam was giving him the sad and upset look. He knew some darkness had come back to him. Frodo shed one single tear. He was scared. He did not wish to be overtaken by darkness. He did not know the Ring would leave this big of an imprint on him. It seemed as if the Ring's grasp was trying to hold onto him. He needed to let go of it. That was the point of this journey. But what if it doesn't work? What if all it does it make the darkness grow and Frodo becomes unrecognizable? He feared the idea of himself becoming like the creature Gollum that had followed them to Mordor. Or even worse, himself but a horrible and selfish person. Sam hadn't move at all since Frodo had asked him what happened. All Sam could manage was a hug. He grabbed Frodo and embraced him.

"Mr. Frodo, ye had no idea how worried I was about ye. Ye had this horrible pain attack in yer shoulder. After a couple o'minutes, ye stopped yellin' but ye were lost within yer mind. I cared for ye. But my ye were hot. Ye were sweating like ice in the sun. I reckoned ye had the Heat Shakes but that doesn't to seem to be the case. I was so worried. I thought ye weren't going to wake up. By golly, I am happy to see ye." Sam said quickly and excitedly. Frodo smiled. He felt weak and tired but he was glad to be awake. He had had the strangest dreams while he was hallucinating. He didn't feel any need to recall what he had seen. He was so hot. He found his shirt was off. He looked at Sam puzzled.

"Oh...I had to take off yer shirt. Ye were sweatin' so much, I figured to cool ye off, I better take off yer shirt." Sam informed him. Frodo nodded. He looked around. He didn't remember being near a pond when he last fell asleep.

"How did we get near a pond? Was I much trouble to get down from the tree?" Frodo asked.

"No no, ye weren't no trouble. I was fine. I wanted to make sure ye were fine." Sam said wholeheartedly. Frodo stood up and stretched out his arms. He looked up at the day. It was cooler today. The cool air soothed his feverish skin. The clouds covered the sky. It was gray out. He thought it looked like rain today. He walked a few paces toward the water. He dipped his feet in the water. He slowly inched himself in until the water came up to his waist. He cupped some water into his hand and poured it on his face. He noticed the discoloration of his left shoulder. He poured the cool water over it. It stung and he cringed at the pain. He didn't want another flare of pain to come again. He needed to be careful with it. He needed to speak to Lord Elrond when they arrived in Rivendell. He splashed some more water onto his face. He rubbed his hands through his curls. He thought of how peculiar it was that most of the hobbits in Hobbiton had blonde curls and he had dark brown curls. He was the odd-one-out. He never used to think anything of it but it did make him think. Maybe he was special. Before he got much into it, he felt rain drops hit his nose. He dashed out of the water to Sam. As he was exiting the water, he slipped and fell. His knee hit a rock and gashed open his knee. He let out a yell of pain. Sam immediately ran to him.

"Mr. Frodo! What happened?"

"I'm alright Sam, I just tripped and lacerated my knee." He tried to stand up and walk, but he couldn't bear weight on his leg. He had to limp. He groaned. He did not want yet another injury to deal with. Sam walked over to him with a stray piece of cloth. He kneeled down and tied it to Frodo's knee securely. Frodo winced when Sam tightened it to stop the bleeding.

"Thank you Sam. Thank you for all your caring for me. I appreciate it more than you know. You don't know how much you are worth to me." Frodo said to Sam earnestly. Sam looked down and smiled.

"Thank ye Mr. Frodo. Means a lot comin' from ye." Sam said shyly to Frodo. Frodo and Sam enjoyed this moment, then quickly came to the realization that it was still raining. They grabbed all their stuff and dashed toward the forest across from the pond for shelter. Both hobbits pulled out their hobbit-size capes and draped them over themselves. They continued on the path through the forest.


	10. A Brewing Storm

Frodo had a limp from his leg and occasionally Sam would have to help Frodo walk from the weakness he endured. Frodo would hobble along the road, Sam would notice and then run to help his friend. Frodo again felt bad for slowing down their journey and make Sam help him, but Sam would quiet him and tell him it was no trouble.

"Sam...I can manage, I'm fine see?" Frodo tried to look like he was walking normally. He would regain his balance and then shortly lose it and stumble over his feet. Sam rushed over and helped Frodo to his feet.

"Mr. Frodo, ye are far from fine. Ye endured a load o'pain up in that tree and yer knee is banged up good. I don't mind one bit helpin' ye out." Sam said sternly. Frodo relaxed himself and hopped on one leg to keep pressure off his knee. After about two long hours of hopping and hobbling, they reached the end of the forest. They didn't recognize where they were. The landscape was hilly and thick storm clouds covered the horizon. It looked ominous. A soft, quiet breeze blew. It was chilling to the bone despite it's gentleness. It was dead silent outside, like the drop before a supersonic storm. Sam and Frodo both looked worried. They didn't see any sort of protection over the hills to shield them from the storm, but they did not want to waste any further time in the forest. Frodo started up the hills. Sam ran after him.

"Mr. Frodo, there's no way we can climb up these here hills. The storm'll catch up to us and rage over our heads." Sam said looking up at the sky worriedly.

"We must try Sam. We cannot spend any further time in the forest." Frodo paused and looked up as he heard a rumble of thunder.

"I reckon we are not in the Shire any longer." Frodo said aside. He looked around and saw no trace of civilization. No hobbit holes nor houses were any where in sight. They must be on the very edge of the Shire where no person lived. He worried they would not find any place to wait for the storm to pass. Frodo knew in his heart though he did not want to wait in the forest. He did not want another episode to happen. He needed to get to Rivendell as quick as possible. He walked back to Sam. He grabbed Sam's hand and tugged it in his direction. Sam began to walk forward. Frodo released Sam's hand. Sam slightly felt disappointed. He wished he had had a few more seconds to hold Frodo's hand. Frodo's grasp was a bit weak, but very hearty and kind. He let Frodo walk by himself because it had seemed Frodo had enough strength in his knee to walk on his own. Sam was concerned about Frodo's limp though. He knew Frodo would protest if he offered to help but it hurt him seeing Frodo walk on his knee. He assumed it wasn't good to walk with a gash on his leg the size of a small apple. Still, there was nothing he could do to help Frodo without irritating him. He glared at Frodo's leg while he walked though. Up ahead, Frodo had the hood of his cape up. Above in the sky, loud rumbles of thunder escaped. He looked up whenever one escaped the vicinity. Lightning cracked and flashed brightly. He quickened his pace and yelled to Sam to do the same. He had no desire to get caught in the storm. He searched the horizon for any sign of shelter. He could see nothing in his field of view. Another crack of lightning ran across the sky above. He knew Sam was frightened behind him. Sam had always been afraid of lightning and thunder. Frodo knew he had to stop to comfort Sam. He searched desperately for somewhere to stop. He found a stray tree up ahead. He and Sam rushed to the tree. When they got underneath it, thunder boomed and it started to pour rain. The branches of the tree dripped rain. It wasn't perfect, but it was much better than sitting out in the rain. Sam reached for a piece of cheese from his pack. Frodo sat down with his hands down on his knees. He was watching the storm with fascination. He had always loved storms. Hobbiton rarely got them but when they did, Frodo would sit up in Bag-End and look out the window. He would sit in awe and in wonder gazing up at the sky, watching the water stream down the windowsill. It was like an exotic dance. The grasses would sway every which way, the branches of trees would shake and shimmy, and the lightning would leap across the sky. It was a performance within itself. It was wonderfully peaceful and he could sit there for hours just looking up at the sky and some nights, he did. Sam, however, did not feel the same way about storms. He was so fearful of them. The loudness disturbed his quiet peace and serenity he was accustomed to. He jumped whenever he heard thunder. Sam claimed he didn't mind them but Frodo knew better having known Sam for years. He moved himself next to Sam and grasped Sam's shoulder. Sam flinched the slightest. He turned his head to look at Frodo.

"Fear not Sam. I'm here with you. You don't need to fear thunder nor lightning. It cannot harm you." Frodo said reassuringly. Sam didn't look convinced.

"How can ye not be afraid of things like that? Ye know, things you can't control?" Sam asked. Frodo turned and looked at the ground. Then, he looked at the sky. This was a good question. He had never thought about things like that.

"Well...maybe I think that whatever happens is meant to happen. You can't control everything. Sometimes, you have to trust that it'll work out in the end. The things that are beyond our control, aren't meant to be in our control for a reason. Like giant boulders for example." Sam looked confused. Frodo laughed gently and continued.

"If you tried to pick up one of them, you would struggle and never get it to move. That means it's just meant to be there. No where else but there. Do you understand?" Sam nodded his head.

"I don't know Mr. Frodo. I don't like change or in...un...what's the word?" Sam said quizzically.

"Instability?" He questioned.

"Yes! That's the word. But yes, I don't like that in-sta-bili-ty." Sam said choppily.

"I understand." Frodo said kindly. He removed his hand from Sam's shoulder. He stood up and walked to the other side of the tree. He had his hands in the pockets of his pants. The rain had lightened up and the sun was shining through the clouds in the distance. He squinted and looked at the horizon. The field was endless plains. He still could not see any town or sign of life ahead of them. He contemplated whether or not this was the eye of the storm, or if the storm was simply finished. He decided it was best to stay put for a while to be certain. He was tired. A wave of exhaustion caught up to him. The state of unconciousness he had been in hadn't given him any rest what so ever. He needed to rest. He laid down on the ground.

"Sam, I'm going to try and rest. Alright?"

"Alright Mr. Frodo. I'll make sure nothin' disturbs ye." Sam said earnestly. Frodo smiled.

"Thank you Sam." Frodo said yawning. He rested his head on the ground and closed his eyes. He drifted off into a blissful abyss of sleep.


	11. Untrusting

He dreamed of being in Bag-End. He was sitting in his arm chair in front of a burning fire. He turned his head and saw Sam in another arm chair facing the fire. He was reading a book intently. Sam looked up from reading his book and smiled at Frodo. Frodo glanced away while smiling. He looked outside and saw a bright white light. He couldn't see anything else. No grasses, no hills of Hobbiton, no wagons, nothing. He furrowed his brow and looked back at Sam. Sam had disappeared. Frodo became concerned.

"Sam?" Frodo called out worriedly. Everything was quiet. He could hear a creaking of wood in the house. He got out of his chair and was starting to walk around. He checked every room in the hole and yet he could not find Sam. He returned to the den. All of a sudden, he felt a hand touch his back. Frodo jumped and turned around. It was Sam. He stared at Frodo, not moving a muscle.

"Sam...? Where have you been? What's going on?" Frodo asked; a worried tone still came across. Sam didn't say anything. He still continued to glare at Frodo.

"Sam...? What's gotten into you?" Frodo questioned, more forcefully and with more hesitation. Sam didn't speak but drew something out of his pocket. He pulled out the Ring. He held it out in his palm towards Frodo.

"Where did you get that? Why do you have it? You musn't give it to me, you know that!" Frodo yelled with concern and anger. Sam spoke in a whisper.

"You know you need it. It needs you. Why would you give such a gift away? It's part of you. Yere part of him Mr. Frodo. Ye know it in your heart too." Frodo looked horrified. He tried to run but Sam grabbed onto him.

"Put it on Mr. Frodo. Ye know you want to. Ye need it." Sam's voice echoed in his ears. It had an eerie tone to it.

"No Sam. No!" Frodo shouted. He tried to get Sam to let go of him. Sam's grip was strong and he wouldn't let go. Frodo struggled. Sam grasped tighter. Frodo was worried for his life.

"Sam...why are you doing this?" Frodo cried. Sam's eyes had evilness in them.

"You want it. You need it Mr. Frodo." He kept repeating those words over and over again. He grabbed Frodo's hand and shoved the ring on his finger.  
"No...No...No!" Frodo screamed. He squirmed to get it off. He knew he had disappeared. The shadows and sinisterness returned to his view. Everything looked black, gray, and dark. He could still see Sam, watching him with pleasure. Ringwraiths and dead souls came around him. He held their hands out and tried to take Frodo away with them. He yelled out in fear and in pain. They came closer and closer. He tried to push away from the corner he was in. When he moved, it seemed like a thousand pounds had been placed all over his body. He crawled through the space between the Ringwraiths and tried to run. When he tried to stand, he could not gather his strength to get up. He bent his knees and thrusted the door open. He fell to his knees and crawled outside. Hobbiton was dark and unfriendly. The trees were bare and broken. The grass was charred. No animals scurried on the ground. Only crows cawed above in the air. It looked like a fire had come and burnt everything to a crisp. Everything was dead and barren. Frodo hurried down the road. He tripped and his face fell in the dirt. The air was hot and dry. When he lifted his head from the ground, he was in a different place. The ground was arid and sandy. He saw the top of Mount Doom. It was gray and much more intense. He reached up his hand. He tried to pull himself up the side of the mountain and his arm fell right in front of him. The weight of the ring was unbearable. He saw the golden ring on his left hand in front of him. It was shining and the inscription light up. In Tengwar tongue, it was calling to him. The Ring whispered to him. Frodo was mesmerized by the voices. He needed to fight it. He turned his head slowly to the left to see if Sam was behind him. He was alone. Sam was no where to be found. Frodo felt very lonely. He was scared and lonely. It hadn't even occurred to him that he was in a nightmare. Life or nightmare, everything blurred together into one big dreary existence. He had this motive to get to the top. He didn't know where it had come from. All he knew is he needed to get to the top. He inched his left hand to a small rock. He grabbed and pulled. The rock got closer to Frodo, but he didn't move from his spot. He tried several more time with both arms and failed each time. His neck and shoulders started to throb. He curved his chest up and saw the Ring on the chain swing forward. He looked very confused and looked at his hand. The ring had disappeared and transported to the chain. The world still looked dim. What had made this happen? Why had Sam given him this? Why did he feel the need to make the temptations go greater? He had no clue. The was beating down on him. He saw a shadow fall over him. He looked up and saw Sam standing in his pathway. Fear came across his face.

"S...s...Sam?" He stuttered. Sam didn't speak. He pointed to the Ring. Frodo again was surrounded by Ringwraiths that were coming closer to him. Sam kneeled beside Frodo and was trying to shove the Ring on Frodo's hand. Frodo was so weak he could not move a muscle. When Sam placed it on his hand, a circle of darkness was swallowing him up. Frodo screamed and woke himself up finally from this nightmade. Sam ran to his side and immediately started comforting him. Frodo shifted away from Sam.

"No! Get away from me!" Frodo shouted. Sam looked hurt. He had no idea why Frodo didn't trust him. He moved closer to Frodo to try and help him again. Frodo was cowering with fear. Every part of his body was trembling. His blue eyes quivered and had terror within them.

"Please...don't come closer to me." Frodo said. He had his hand in front of him. He was still trembling and he broke down crying. Sam pulled him into his arms. He put his hand on Frodo's head. Frodo's head was on Sam's shoulder. He was sobbing. Frodo gripped Sam tightly. He was still shaking. He couldn't move or say anything. All he did was grab Sam and let out huge cries of pain and sorrow. Sam wasn't sure what he was suppose to do. He was hurt and confused at the same time. Surely, he wasn't going to leave Frodo alone and to console himself. But he needed to know what this was about.

"Shhh...Mr. Frodo it's alright. It's alright. Nothin's gonna hurt you while I'm here. Everythin's gonna be alright." Sam said comfortingly. He had already seen Frodo shed one too many tears. He knew so much pain and sadness filled Frodo's heart. He needed light to come to his heart. He needed to bring peace to him. He was going to bring peace to Frodo's life if it was the last thing he would do. Frodo started to speak.

"I can't do this anymore Sam. I can't...there is too much pain to bear. Too much sadness and agony...There's just no end." Frodo paused. He sighed. Everything seemed impossible.

"Beggin' yere pardon Mr. Frodo, but there will be an end. Ye will get relief. I'll bring it to you if it's the last thing I do. I promise it. And ye know I don't break m'promises." Frodo started to counter Sam's statement.

"Mr. Frodo, can I tell ye something? Ye are much stronger than ye think. Strength, in my opinion, isn't measured in how much one can lift. It's how much one can bear through their life. Ye, my dear Frodo, have shown yer strength through yer whole life. Now, I know ye don't believe me, but I ain't tellin no lies." He let go of Frodo and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Look at me, Mr. Frodo." Sam instructed. Frodo looked up tearfully.

"Ye can do this. I believe in ye. I'll help ye through this whole journey. No matter what life throws at us, I'll help ye. I'll do all I can to protect ye. If it means putting an end to m'life, I'll do it." Sam said earnestly. Frodo sniffled. All he could manage was a nod. He had no strength to argue back.

"Now, can ye tell me what happened? What did ye dream about?" Sam questioned gently. Frodo sucked in a deep breath and thought of what to say.

"I dreamed we were in Bag-End. You had the Ring, Sam. You and a group of Ringwraiths shoved it onto my finger. I escaped and then all of a sudden, I was on the side of Mount Doom. It was that day when we were climbing up. You were in front of me once more and when you forced it onto my hand, I was being sucked into a pit of darkness. I feel...like the Ring is going to take me. I don't have the ring in my possession, but I feel its grasp from afar. When I close my eyes, I feel like I'm falling. Falling into a bottomless pit. I feel like my humanity is leaving me. I'm starting to debate what is right or wrong. Pain is becoming the normal for me. I cannot recall a time when I felt real happiness. A time when there was not a cloud of sadness over my head. My mere existence is a dreary one. Each passing day, I hope that maybe I'll feel happier, but to no avail. I just...can't do this anymore. I can't live in fear and pain any longer. I'm so tired...tired of being in this abyss of darkness." Frodo said. Sam sat and digested Frodo's words. He knew his friend was tired. He could see it in his eyes, his body language, and the way he behaved. He knew the Ring had left an imprint on him. His wounds were never expected to heal. Frodo was offered to go on a long journey to live with the elves. He declined it because he didn't want to be far away from his home. He knew he also wanted to be within close distance to Bilbo. Also, there was the fact that he didn't want to leave Sam, but that secret was his to keep. No one, not even Gandalf or Bilbo was to know his feelings about Sam. Frodo was still trying to find the right to tell Sam himself. Frodo knew there would be complications when he did. He wanted their romance, if it was mutual, to be a secret. Living together till the end of their days sure, but he didn't want to express it openly. No one needed to know. It was their own business anyway.


	12. Bree

Sam swallowed. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to reassure to Frodo that he was going to be alright. Sam knew it in his heart he would find peace. He felt he would start to doubt himself soon with more and more episodes like this. Seemingly impossible tasks would keep blocking their way to Mordor and would make it difficult to gain continue on. No matter how hard it would be, they were going to get there. Sam put his arm on Frodo's shoulder.

"I know how much yer going through. I may not understand yer pain and may never truly know how much of a burden it is, but I do know that I will always be here to take care of you. I can help ye in anyway I can. Tell me anything to do and I'll do it, gladly." Sam said. He stood up and saw that the rain had stopped. The sun was shining through the dark, gray clouds. Sam smiled.

"Do ye remember that thing I told ye when we were with Gollum? Ye had put Sting up to my neck and had me on the ground. Both our eyes were full o'tears because we were both scared out of our wits. We had no idea if we were ever goin' to get t'Mordor. Ye were dealin' with the Ring and I was dealin' with ye. Do ye recall what I said that day?" Sam asked. Frodo nodded slowly.

"Yes, Sam. I recall what you said that day. You asked me how we could prevail when everything looked grim and so much bad and grief had overcome everyone. You said we were fighting for something. You said that we were fighting for the fact that there is some good left in this world." Frodo replied weakly.

"Right. And we still are fighting for that. There is plenty o'good in the world. And this time," Sam looked into Frodo's eyes. "we are fighting for yer good. We're fightin' for you. Mr. Frodo, we are fightin' for you." Sam said honestly. Frodo looked at Sam and saw truth. Sam stood up and held out his hand. Frodo looked up doubtfully. Sam smiled and motioned to his hand. Frodo looked up grimly and grabbed his hand. He pulled himself. He was still shaking from the nightmare. He saw the sun. He walked out from under the tree and stood under the light. He closed his eyes and felt the rays of the sun, but no warmth. He needed a sign. He needed a piece to keep him going. He closed his eyes tighter and opened his arms up. He pleaded silently to feel something. Suddenly, he felt the warmness on his arms. He felt it all over his body. The sun was warm and made the little hairs on his arms stand up. He kept his eyes close to not ruin this moment. Frodo smiled. A real and true smile. It was as close to happy as he had been in a while. Sam looked up from packing up their food and saw Frodo. He was happy to see him smiling on his own. He admitted it to himself. Frodo was so incredibly handsome. His dark brown curls, just perfectly out of line and messy, framed his face so nicely. His pointy hobbit ears peaking out from beneath his hair. The flawlessness of his skin. His skinniness, despite it being odd for a hobbit. His blue eyes so full of wonder. He knew he could stare into them for hours. They were mesmerizing. One could get lost in them. Frodo thought of himself far from perfect but in Sam's eyes, he was the definition of perfect. Sam's heart sped up. He was so lost but found at the same time. How could he be so far from home but feel so safe and at home at the same time? He didn't have the answer but he knew it didn't matter. No matter where in the world he was, as long as he had Frodo, he could feel safe and everything would be alright. He wanted to kiss Frodo. Not on the forehead like he did last time. A real one. On the lips, with Frodo awake and aware. A passionate one where he could show him how much he really did love and care for him. Much beyond a friend. He sighed and wondered when that time would come. He picked up his sack and walked over to Frodo. Frodo was still standing in the sunlight, absorbing the warmness. Sam stopped behind him and started to speak.

"Sunlight really is wonderful isn't it? Especially right after a storm. I love bein' outside right after its' rained. Everythin' smells so fresh and clean." Sam said. Frodo opened his eyes and turned to Sam. Sam handed Frodo his bag and cape. Frodo smiled and began walking forward towards Bree. They walked across the prairie. It seemed to have taken an hour when they finally found a pathway. He knew they couldn't be far from Bree now. On the previous journey, it had taken ten days to get to Bree but that was with many stops such as Tom Bombadil's house. They couldn't be far from it. They were going to spend a night at the Prancing Pony like they did last time. Frodo also happened to know his cousins and dear friends Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took would be at the Prancing Pony. Merry and Pippin were on their way to Rivendell. Pippin wanted to see Bilbo again and Merry wanted to just see the beauty of Rivendell once more. Frodo decided to surprise Sam. He knew Sam would be glad to see them again. The four hobbits all saw each other from time to time in Hobbiton and occasionally gathered at the Green Dragon but they hadn't had much time since Sam gardened a lot (and tended to Frodo) and Merry and Pippin had moved out of Hobbiton to Buckland. Merry wanted to see his family again and Pippin couldn't stand to be without Merry looking after him. After all, Pippin was always getting into trouble and Merry was the one who usually bailed him out of trouble. Because they had moved, the four of them hadn't gotten together in quite sometime. It had been at least eight months. Sharing part of the journey to Rivendell would be nice. Sam could have a bit of fun with his other dear friends. Frodo knew this would make Sam happy and he would appreciate it. Frodo hoped he and Sam would stumble upon other members of the Fellowship from long ago. Maybe they would find Legolas or Gandalf or Aragorn. He wasn't sure, but the slim chance that they might brightened his spirits the littlest. He and Sam followed the dirt path. The path was peculiar considering the fact it was randomly across grass. Neither hobbit questioned the existence of it. They both followed it without thinking. About two and a half hours later, they found themselves following a river along the hills. The path had disappeared and turned into hills. They stopped at the river and filled their water packs. After about ten minute, they started walking again. They chattered about small things like the weather, the landscape, and they reminisced about old times in the Shire. After a while, they ran out of things to say and walked again in silence. Time became blurry and before they knew it, they found themselves at the entrance of Bree. It was several hours after sunset. They knocked on the wall outside of Bree. A man opened the speaking hole and before either one could state their business, he let them in. He explained to Frodo and Sam that they he knew who they were and they were always welcome in Bree. They walked over to the Prancing Pony. When they requested a room, they found out that all the double Hobbit sized bedrooms were booked. They were given a single bed, Hobbit sized room.

"Forgive me for the inconvenience hobbits of the Shire. There are no rooms with two beds for hobbits. Just gave the last one away. A single bed is all I got left. All other rooms are taken. Busy night here at the Prancing Pony. Will ye take the room?" The owner asked. Sam and Frodo looked at each other. Both a little embarrassed that they would have to share a bed. But, it was far better than sleeping on the ground outside. It had begun to rain anyway. They both decided it was best to stay here for the night.

"That'll be alright." said Frodo. He didn't know how he was going to get any sleep with Sam laying right beside him. He was used to having Sam lay near him when they were in the forest, but never side by side in a bed. The owner showed them to their room. They opened the door and both hobbits glared at the single bed. As Frodo closed the door, Sam turned around.

"Mr. Frodo, I'll sleep on the ground. It don't matter to me. Ye should take the bed. It'll help ye sleep better." Sam said.

"Sam, don't be absurd. We can share the bed. It's no trouble. You need your sleep too. No friend of mine is going to sleep on the hard ground." Frodo said. Sam looked down and nodded shyly. He set down his things in the chair across from the bed. He paced uncomfortably around the room. Frodo put his cape and small bag on the bed. He straightened up and saw Sam pacing back and forth. Frodo chuckled.

"What're you doing Sam? Afraid I'll bite you in the middle of the night?" Frodo joked. Sam looked up and turned red.

"Course not. Just...I...oh never mind." Sam grumbled.

"Sam, it's alright to be uncomfortable. I mean it is closer than we've ever been...I understand." Frodo said. Sam laughed and then turned to Frodo.

"Mr. Frodo. We spent almost a year together on this journey. We went to Mordor only with each other. It's a bit ridiculous I can't spend the night in the same bed with my dearest friend." Sam walked toward the window. He looked out. The rain still poured and made everything outside quiet. Nothing stirred outside. Frodo followed Sam to the window.

"Sam, you cannot judge yourself based on your journey. Yes, we endured lots of things and saw many things that most hobbits don't dare to dream of. But, we still are ordinary hobbits. We are not lords or gods. Just hobbits. Two 'fearsome' hobbits from the Shire. You a gardner and I, well, just the nephew of Bilbo Baggins, the hobbit that went on an amazing journey. But nothing else. To everyone else, we are looked upon as the hobbits that saved Middle-earth from Sauron, but do you know what I see you as?" Sam looked puzzled.

"I see you as my dearest friend that accompanied me on an adventure beyond imagination. I see you as Samwise Gamgee. Not who you are made to be, but who you are." Frodo said softly. He said this while looking at Sam's reflection in the window. Sam sighed.

"I just wish I could be as brave as ye are. And as smart and witty. I ain't nothin' close to what ye are Mr. Frodo. Yer all kinds of wonderful and me, I'm just the gardner that followed ye when I wasn't suppose to." Sam said sadly.

"Sam, Samwise Gamgee. Put all those thoughts out of your mind. You are so much more than you see yourself to be. You are all kinds of wise. Wise beyond your years my dear friend. You say things that seem so simple to you, but to me and the rest of the world are just pure wisdom. I know I've told you how important to me you were on the journey. Sam, you aren't just my friend, you this wonderful being that was meant to follow me on that journey. You are like my guardian. My protector." Frodo said. Sam turned around. He looked hopeful.

"Do ye really mean that Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked.

"I meant every word of it." Frodo replied. Sam didn't smile but looked relieved that he meant more to Frodo than he thought.

"Thank you Mr. Frodo. Means a lot. More than ye know. Shall we go eat now?" Sam questioned.

"Yes, that sounds like a brilliant idea. I am famished." Frodo said


	13. Lost and Found

They walked out of their room downstairs to the bar area. They sat down at the counter and requested two ales and some chicken stew and bread. The waiter brought it to them. He brought extra creamy and rich butter for them to slather on their bread. Sam's eyes widened when he tasted the stew, It was so delicious. He quickly started slurping soup from his bowl. Frodo on the other hand ate slowly. He was trying to distinguish between the bread and sweet butter and the stew. A bit of his taste sense had come back to him. He could taste some differences. He was happy to be eating again with pleasure. He noticed Sam had ordered another pint of ale. When it was served to him, he began gulping down mouthfuls. Frodo knew he would have to care for Sam tonight. Sam didn't drink often, but when he did, he tended to over do it a little bit. He would get tipsy and start to slur everything he said. He didn't Sam to embarrass himself. He finished his dinner as Sam was getting up to start blubbering nonsense to everyone in sight. He led Sam up the stairs. Sam tripped after every other step. Frodo helped him up. He pulled Sam up one time and he over stretched his shoulder.

"Ahhh!" He cried out in pain. He couldn't move his shoulder that had been pierced by the blade. He didn't want to have another episode, let alone while Sam was unable to help him. He let his right shoulder go limp and grabbed Sam's arm with his left hand. He helped him up the rest of the stairs. It was more dragging since thats all he could manage. He thrust open the door and laid Sam on the bed. Sam was laughing hysterically for no specific reason.

"Mr. Frodo, ye should learn to not be so uptight. Ye need to have a drink yerself. Why don't we go back down to the bar?" Sam slurred and started to get up. Frodo was resting his arm. He got up when he saw Sam getting up. He put his hand on Sam's chest and Sam instantly fell to the bed.

"You are staying here tonight, Samwise Gamgee. You have had far too much to drink." Frodo commanded. Sam tried to argue but failed. He stopped trying to fight and relaxed himself. Frodo rubbed his arm. His shoulder was in pain. It felt like someone kept hitting a shard of glass into his shoulder. He went to the bathroom and undid the top of his shirt. He saw his shoulder had begun to turn red again. He had a wet rag in his hand to try and clean the scar. When he touched it, it stung. He flinched and slightly moaned in pain. He set down the rag and decided that was not a good idea. He heard a soft buzz outside the bathroom. He turned around and saw Sam sleeping soundly. He was snoring quite loudly. Frodo chuckled. He figured it was probably from the alcohol. He buttoned up his shirt once more. He looked toward the bed. His stomach jumped. He knew it was time for him to get some rest and share the bed with Sam. He walked over, slowly and quietly. He approached the bed and gently pushed Sam over. He lifted the sheets and climbed in. He faced away from Sam. He stared at the window trying to not focus on the fact his secret romantic interest was laying right beside him. His heart leapt and would not settle. He grabbed the chain where the Ring used to hang by force of habit. He knew there was no ring but that movement made him feel oddly safe. Like he was in control of where he was and what he could do. The ability to slip the Ring onto his finger at any moment made him feel like he could control who sees him and who would not. He was also feeling powerful by the fact that he possessed the one Ring. He could do whatever he liked with it. That kind of power he did not like having. So much power for one hobbit. He didn't like what it had turned him into. He remembered lashing out at Sam for no reason. He would quickly grow irritated for no reason. He hated that person he would become. He never wanted to become that person ever again. Frodo started to watch the water droplets stream down the window. He watched them gather up and then quickly race down the window. It looked like the drops were having races with each other to see who would get to the bottom first. The window became frosty and misty. The temperature had dropped within a few moments. Frodo was glad in that moment to not be outside. Sleeping out there would have been miserable. He was in a warm bed in the Prancing Pony, beside his dearest friend. Frodo rolled over to face Sam. Sam was lying on his back. His hand rested on his chest. Sam snored quietly. _The ales' effects must be waring off _thought Frodo. Frodo knew he needed to admit something to himself. He loved Sam. He really did love Sam. He was the one hobbit he wanted to spend the rest of his days with. He didn't need a girl nor did it seem possible for Frodo to find a girl to catch his eye. Sam was his guardian. He understood Frodo better than any person ever would. He could relate to their experiences better than anyone else could. Sam always brought happiness to his heart. He wanted to tell Sam. But when? And was it worth the possible rejection? How was he to tell him? Frodo's mind swelled up with questions. He didn't know the answer to most of them but he decided he wanted to tell Sam. He couldn't live with this secret anymore. Frodo snuggled closer to Sam. The butterflies in his stomach flew away. This place next to Sam had never felt more familiar. He had never slept this close to Sam but it felt more familiar than anything he had ever done. He nuzzled his head next to Sam's neck. He closed his eyes and drifted to sleep. He fell asleep to the rain's constant drizzle. Frodo fell into a dream. But this time, it was not a dream he had ever had before. There was no darkness; there was no Ring nor eye of Sauron. Frodo was looking into a bright light. He put his hand on his forehead to shield his eyes from the light and to see what was ahead. He looked down and saw he was all dressed in white. In fact, everything around him was white. He looked up and saw Lady Galadriel. Lady Galadriel walked over to him. Her golden locks gracefully fell over her shoulders. She stood in front of Frodo. Her eyes smiled and she looked very happy. He placed her dainty hand on Frodo's shoulder. He looked up into her majestic eyes. She smiled and spoke lightly.

_Frodo Baggins of the Shire. You have returned for a journey to Mordor. And with your faithful companion, Samwise Gamgee. I bless this journey. _

Frodo smiled slightly and bowed his head. His eyes returned to her. She removed her hand from him and turned away from him.

_But I feel you have another motive besides gaining peace from the perilous task you were provided with. There is something you are keeping from your dear friend. _

Frodo looked down and did not speak. He did not wish to explain his reasons to Lady Galadriel, however wise and truthful she may be. He was embarrassed and his cheeks turned pink.

_You do not trust the knowledge of your friend. You fear this voyage will be for nothing and peace will not be found. I see it in your eyes. Not all things are certain in life Frodo. Patience brings unknown gifts and you have waited many years hobbit of the Shire. You have earned your peace. Whether it is bestowed on you now or later, is the way of the land. Serenity will come in time. Those who have will and patience are not at unrest for long. Peace will come your way. In what ways, I cannot say. You will find yourself, and life will not be the same yet, in your heart, you will be at ease. _

Frodo's eyes lit up but his face still looked grim and curious. His heart was anxious to when peace would come. He needed to know.

"Lady Galadriel, will this journey bring peace to my heart?" Frodo asked. Lady Galadriel's face remained unchanging. She started to fade away.

_That is not for me to tell. You will find your peace soon Frodo of the Shire. Tomorrow brings details that are not for you to know quite yet._

A gust of wind took Lady Galadriel away. A huge burst of light brightened the area. Frodo shouted.

"Please tell me! I do not wish to be unrest for my eternity of living! Please! I beg of you!" Frodo yelled out. Lady Galadriel faded into the light and disappeared. Frodo stood staring in the bright white light. He heard the distant hymns of elves. He walked into the light. The light was so bright he could not see. He pressed his hand to his forehead to guard his eyes from the light. He saw green in the distance. He quickened his walking speed and found himself staring at the sun in a field. He was still wearing his white clothes. It was like he walked himself from one dream into another. He wiggled his toes into the soil and grass beneath his feet. The soil felt so cool he couldn't tell if he was in a dream or if he was back in the Shire. Birds chirped and sunflowers swayed in the wind. Bees buzzed by his ear and nestled themselves into the flowers. Frodo ambled forward. He slowly sauntered through the grass with his hand in his pockets. He admired everything around him. He wondered why he couldn't just live here. In his dream forever. In this unreal but so surreal world. Everything was peaceful here. Nothing was bothering him or attacking him. No one was around. It was just him. Living in a dream world where there are no goals or wishes or wants. Just being able to be at peace and being able to relax would be absolutely perfect. He knew he wouldn't be able to stay here though. The morning would come and bring him back to his known world. He was surprised though. This was the first dream he had had in months where he wasn't frightened to death. This was the first pleasant one. Where he could relax and regain lost energy. He decided to take advantage of it. He walked forward and settled himself up against a tree. He sat in the shade watching a butterfly flutter aimlessly around in circles. He twirled the grass in his fingers. He closed his eyes and just soaked in the peace. A moment later he felt a big jolt and he immediately woke up. He found Sam had gotten up. The sun was shining and it was morning now. Frodo rubbed his eyes and looked around the room. Sam was walking clumsily to the bathroom. He looked back at the bed and saw Frodo had woken up.


	14. Two Other Hobbits

"G'mornin' Mr. Frodo. I hope I didn't disturb ye too much while ye slept. Ugh, I am exhausted and my head is reelin'" Sam said groggily. His hair fell messily over his face and bags were under his eyes. Frodo got up from the bed and stretched his arms.

"You didn't wake me. In fact, I slept very well, better than I have in a long while." Frodo admitted. Sam smiled grimly.

"Well,'m glad ye did. Now, I beg yer pardon, but I'm going to go get cleaned up fore breakfast." Sam said.

"Good because we are going to be meeting up with some old friends." Frodo said cheerfully. Sam looked up from the water pale and was curious as to who they would be seeing again.

"Merry and Pippin just happen to be staying here as well. They must have gotten in late for I did not see them when we were at the bar downstairs." Frodo said. Sam's eyes lit up. He missed Pippin and Merry very much. He was eager to see them once more. He quickly dried his face and started getting dressed as fast as he could.

"Sam, there's no need to rush. We are meeting them for breakfast in twenty minutes. You have plenty of time to wash up." Frodo said. Sam blushed and mumbled something to himself. Twenty minutes later, they both walked downstairs. They saw Merry and Pippin were sitting at a table arguing about something or another. Smiles appeared on both Frodo and Sam's faces. They called over to their friends. Merry and Pippin looked up from their quarrel and smiled instantly. Frodo and Sam ran over to their friends and embraced both of them with much excitement. They all laughed and cheered happily.

"Frodo! Sam! We are both so happy t'see you! It's been much too long my friends." Merry said pleasantly. Sam nodded his head. Frodo was so happy to see Sam so pleased to see his friends. It brought joy to his heart.

"Yes much too long! Both of you need to visit Hobbiton much more. Since you have left, I have been most eager to see you both." Frodo said.

"You both should visit Buckland. I know y'both aren't too busy. Y'should get out more. Quit gardenin' and whatever Frodo does cooped up in his house." Pippin said gleefully while chuckling. Frodo laughed.

"I apologize. I have been meaning to visit Buckland to see you both. Hobbiton keeps me most busy though." Frodo lied. He didn't do much in Hobbiton. Actually, most days were spent wandering outside of Hobbiton. He could easily journey to Buckland if he had the motivation. Sam, however, had very much wanted to go to Buckland. But with all the gardening and watching over Frodo, he didn't have much down time for any sort of leisure. All four hobbits, after a few minutes of hugging and lots of greetings, sat down at the table. They began reminiscing immediately.

"What were ye two arguin' about when Mr. Frodo and I walked in?" Sam asked. Merry looked cross all of a sudden and Pippin looked uneasy as well.

"Well, we were arguin' about who is the better dancer. I say me, and Pippin says himself. But everyone knows Pippin can't dance." Merry stated.

"I can too! I can dance ten times better than you!" Pippin argued.

"You cannot! I've see you dance. You trip over your own feet every two steps y'take!" Merry said.

"And what about you? Your always bumpin' into someone. Your clumsier than me." Pippin bickered.

"Am not!" Merry cried.

"Alright you two! I've had enough of ye. Well, we will just have to see who's better. We will dance tonight when the bar's full o'life." Sam said. Both Merry and Pippin nodded grumpily. Frodo chewed on a piece of bread. He had missed his cousins bickering. It amused him to watch them go at it.

"Well, anyway. What's new with you two? Why are you both travelin' to Rivendell?" Merry asked. Frodo looked uncomfortable. Sam stuttered for an answer. Before Sam could say anything, Frodo spoke.

"Truthfully, I'm still dealing with the effects of the Ring. Sam thought it might be a good idea to travel to Mordor to find some perspective and peace. We are making a stop in Rivendell to see Bilbo and the elves once more." Frodo said quietly. Merry and Pippin had grave looks on their faces.

"Do y'think that's a good idea? I mean, won't it bring back awful memories?" Pippin questioned.

"It most likely will. But my thoughts are if I return, I will be able to release all my tension and feelings like I did the Ring into the fire. Then, I can finally be at peace." Frodo said. Pippin looked troubled.

"But what if it doesn't work?" Pippin asked. Frodo frowned. He had not really pondered what might happen if this trip didn't work. It scared him to think if this didn't work, he might be miserable for the rest of his days. He remembered his dream where Lady Galadriel came to speak to him. He knew he was to find peace. He had no idea if this was the way he was going to find it. He needed to trust his instincts though. Somewhere, he had the smallest speck of hope that this would work. He was also secretly hoping that on this journey, he could tell Sam how he felt about him, if that courage was ever to come to him. But for now, that wasn't important.

"Well...I believe in my heart, that this will work. I don't want to doubt myself. Otherwise, I might not be able to acquire the serenity I desire." Frodo said. Merry looked up from his breakfast.

"Well, we wish you and Sam the best of luck." Merry said. Frodo nodded in gratitude.

"So, what about you? Why are you off to Rivendell?" Frodo asked.

"Well, we would much like to see the elves again as well. But mostly, we were visiting Bilbo. We visit him every couple of weeks. He tells us many stories of his adventures. He is such a wise hobbit. You were so lucky to have grown up beside him." Merry said truthfully. Frodo knew how lucky he was to have Bilbo. When his parents had died, Bilbo was the one relative he felt closest to. He was so very glad he had come to live with his dear Uncle. Bilbo was so near and dear to his heart. He had taught him a great deal of things. And hearing about his many adventures never got tiring. Frodo always wished he would grow up to be like Bilbo. He admired him in so many ways he could not even count. Frodo wished one day he could be a fraction of the hobbit Bilbo was.

"I do miss Bilbo, more than anyone knows. It'll be nice to see him once again. With that witty smile on his face as always." Frodo slightly smiled to himself and took a sip of his drink. He swallowed and continued.

"Yes. Rivendell will be wonderful to see." He said whole-heartedly.

"I'm very excited t'see the elves. I wonder if Elrond will give us some sort of gift. I love gifts. Their so excitin' t'open and fun t'have." Pippin chimed in. Merry shoved him grumpily.

"Pip, I don't want you askin' for anythin'. It's nice of them enough to have us be their guests." Merry stated.

"I know but twas m'birthday just recently. And I was hopin' maybe he'll have somethin' for me." Pippin said hopefully.

"Pippin," Merry said, "your birthday was well over three months ago. I doubt he will even know it was your birthday anyhow." Pippin frowned and looked disappointed. He mumbled something to himself. It was silent for a moment. Sam broke the silence and started talking again.

"Have ye seen any of our old friends? Like Aragorn or Gandalf?" Sam asked. "No. Ever since Aragorn became king, we haven't seen him. We figured he'd be off with kingly duties and such. Also, the journey to Gondor would be much to long and tiresome. And we saw Gandalf a couple months ago but he's been long gone. Wonder if he'll drop by Hobbiton and visit y'both. I haven't seen much of anyone from our old Fellowship. I do wish I could see everyone again. I do long to see them again." Merry said. All four hobbits agreed silently.

"That fellowship was tha best thin' that ever came to m'life. I love each and everyone that we met along the way. Everyone was so kind and loving. That journey, despite it being long and perilous, broke me out of m'shell and gave me a whole new perspective on the world. Seeing everythin' in Middle-earth was unforgettable and will stay with me for the rest of m'days. Every part of Middle-earth had its charm and importance. It was amazing. Just, simply amazing. I have many bad memories from that journey that I wish t'forget. But many wonderful ones that I look back on and smile. Smile with my heart. It taught me a load of lessons. And I got t'spend it with wonderful people. I couldn't 'ave asked for a better group t'spend that journey with. Such a bond we created. Love and friendship. That will never be broken. Through the ages, our names might be forgotten. But our legacy. Never." Sam said earnestly. All the hobbits had many emotions overcome them. They all were happy and sad at the same time. No one spoke but Pippin, Frodo, and Merry were deeply moved. Pippin looked like he was on the verge of tears. Merry had tears in his eyes but smiled and gently laughed. Fond memories had filled his head. Frodo stared at Sam with a slight smile on his face. He nodded his head and silently bid his thanks to him. Sam smiled and drank his drink. Pippin stood up and came behind Sam and hugged him. He gently cried into Sam's back. Sam stood up and comforted Pippin. Merry wiped his eyes and started chuckling once more. Frodo came behind Merry and patted his shoulder.

"You will be alright my friend. Sadness and grief stain our pasts. We do not wish for these memories to stay with us, yet they do. But the joyful memories overcome and take back our spirits." Frodo said comfortingly.

"I know my dear friend. I know. There is lots of trauma I hold with me though. I only wish to remember the fond memories but I sadly cannot. I can go many days without reliving the events from the past but some days, I break and feel so torn." Merry said, his voice wavering.

"I understand. I know the pain of which you speak." Frodo said. He knew that pain better than anyone else did. He turned to Merry.

"I feel this way lots of the time. I do not wish to get into detail about that but what helps me is I allow myself to reflect on the past for a while. But then, I must move on and focus on what good I have in my life." Frodo said. He knew he rarely did this for sadness made his life, but it sounded like good advice for Merry. Merry did in fact have less of a traumatic experience.


	15. Desparity

After a while of sobbing and reminiscing, Frodo and Sam bid farewell to Merry and Pippin until later. They went to pack their bags to set off down the road to Rivendell with them. Frodo was packing in their room. He put on his cape and put his things in his small pack. Sam was rushing around the room to make sure he had everything he had brought. He checked to make sure they still had plenty of food for the journey. They did but Sam triple-checked. He did not want his master to go hungry. Sam was shoving things into his bag. Frodo walked up to Sam and put his hands on Sam's shoulders. He shook his head and gently rubbed Sam's shoulders.

"Sam, you must relax. This is not good for you. Being so tense all the time must not be beneficial to your health." Frodo said. Sam relaxed when he felt Frodo's grasp on his shoulders. His shoulders had started to ache a little. This little massage made him feel better. Frodo's hand were gently yet firm. They relaxed his muscles. Frodo dropped his hands to his side to try to be smooth about how he had randomly touched his best friends shoulders. He walked over to Sam's bag and plucked an apple out of it and bit into his. The apple slightly crunched under Frodo's teeth. It was crisp and fresh. Sam looked at Frodo for a half second and then resumed packing.

"Well, it's comfortin' t'know yer eatin'. Ye need to put some meat on yer bones. Yer far to skinny Mr. Frodo." Sam advised. Frodo looked down at his own stomach and noticed he had lost quite a bit of weight. He knew he wasn't one of the fatter hobbits in Hobbiton but he had never been this skinny before. He felt his ribs were peaking out of his chest.

"I know Sam. I haven't been eating much since the return from Mordor. I just don't seem to have an appetite. But, it's slowly returning to me. I appreciate your concern. You take good care of me." Frodo said honestly.

"It's m'job Mr. Frodo. Don't want you to be malnourished. I need ye feelin' as best as ye possibly can. I don't like seein' ye in bad condition." Sam said. Sam finished packing his bag and him and Frodo headed down the stairs. They exited the Prancing Pony and saw Merry and Pippin standing outside. Pippin was gazing off into space and Merry was looking at the sun trying to figure out what time it was. Frodo and Sam approached them. Merry nudged Pippin.

"Well, hello there. We were just waitin' for you two." Merry said a little impatiently. Pippin nodded in agreement.

"Merry, we didn't get to have an ale. We always have an ale when we come here." Pippin complained.

"Pippin, we've been here several times. We'll have one next time." Merry said.

"But it's a tradition. Besides, they have one of the finest ales, besides of course the Green Dragon's ales. I've tried all the ales in the South Farthing. Here and at the Green Dragon, they have the single best ales." Pippin informed. Merry rolled his eyes.

"Yes Pip, everyone knows about your ale and pipeweed obsession. Now, can we please head off?" Merry asked annoyed. Sam and Frodo walked ahead of them, trying to avoid Merry, for he was in one of his moods. Pippin followed close behind Merry. All four hobbits walked out of Bree and started up off the road again. About twenty minutes later, they began reminiscing.

"Do you remember when we first met Aragorn? He was so intimidatin'. I never expected him to come with us on the journey. I also never knew he was Aragorn, son of Isildur. He became king! Just think. We have a friend who is a king! That's amazin'. I go round tellin' everyone that I know King Aragorn. If anyone t'ever threaten me I can just say 'I know King Aragorn. You're better just leavin' me alone than havin' him get involved." Pippin said proudly. Merry grunted.

"Who would ever try to challenge you? We live in Buckland. There's nothin' that can hurt you." Merry pointed out.

"I know but some people think of me as a weakling. So, I can tell them that I have a powerful friend who can help me if necessary." Pippin said.

"Can't ye just tell 'em ye went on the journey to destroy the Ring?" asked Sam.

"No," Pippin said unhappily, "no one believes me. And I have to proof to show that I did." Frodo turned to Pippin.

"You don't need to prove your strength to anyone Pippin. We all know you have much courage and bravery. No one else needs to know that." Frodo said. Pippin brightened up and smiled.

"Thank you, Frodo." Pippin said. The next several hours consisted of much walking. It had become late evening and they could barely see where they were going. "I can hardly see anythin' in front o'me! And my feet hurt. Can we sit down and rest?" Pippin asked. The other four hobbits agreed that this was a good idea. It was dark outside and they couldn't tell where they were. They sat down and felt they were on grass. It seemed a little steep in areas so they assumed they were on a hill. The grass was tough and scratchy. They laid their blankets and capes upon the ground to sit on. Sam found some stray twigs and made a fire with them. They sat around the fire eating bread and some cheese. Sam didn't give much else out now that they were sharing with two other hobbits. They sat warming themselves, for the air had become cooler. Pippin and Merry began singing some old tunes that they had heard in the past from Bilbo. Sam and Frodo clapped in merriment. Sam then got up and told a funny story about how his Gaffer had accidentally fallen into a pile of mud when they were gardening. Merry and Pippin found this most amusing. They laughed so hard their sides hurt. After a few more hours of reminiscing and story sharing, they fell asleep. Except for Frodo. He was laying on the ground looking up at the moon. Earlier, clouds had covered the Moon so they couldn't see. But the clouds had disappeared now and he was gazing at the big orb in the sky. He was reminded of his place in the forest in the Shire. He could faintly hear the soft murmur of water rushing down the stream. He heard crickets in the distance. He placed his hands on his chest and sat staring at it. He heard something shift and he turned his head over to see that Sam was awake as well.

"Oh, Mr. Frodo. Sorry to wake you. I didn't mean to." Sam said quietly.

"It's alright Sam. You didn't wake me. I was up." Frodo whispered. Sam shifted over to Frodo's blanket. He noticed the fire had died down and was now a pile of ash and glowing embers.

"Why are you awake? Couldn't ye sleep?" Sam asked.

"I was just thinking about the forest I used to spend my nights in. This place reminds me of it in the slightest." Frodo said. He looked at the fire and crawled over to it. He looked at the embers and watched them slowly die out. They hissed slightly. He moved his hand over them to feel the heat. He remembered in this moment Gandalf dropping the Ring into his hand after Gandalf had dropped the envelope into the fire that contained the Ring. He remembered how it was cool to the touch despite being in a burning fire. He pulled the chain off of his neck. He stared at the empty chain. He hadn't worn it since the Ring was on it. He placed it back on his neck and held it to his chest.

"Sam, what am I to do when we return? There's no life to return to. I mean yes, we will go to the Shire but what then? Do I get married? Do I move to Rivendell to live with Bilbo? Do I stay in Bag-End for the rest of my days? I have no clue, do you? I don't want to spend the rest of my days alone. I know you have had your eye on Rosie Cotton and will be able to return to her and get married and have children, but me? I've never had any sort of interest on any girl. Not in my life. Am I to find love?" Frodo asked softly. Sam struggled for the answer.

_How about me? I could be yer life. Us. This. Forever. _He thought. He didn't speak.

"I think it's a bit soon to be thinkin' about what comes in the far future. Why don't we get through this journey first?" Sam asked.

"I can't bear the idea of coming back to nothing. I need a motive. I have a motive to find peace but to go to what then? I want to be able to know I can go somewhere after this. Knowing there might be nothing to go back to is unsettling." Frodo said. This made Sam irritated and frustrated. He wanted to scream out the truth. It was seething from his pores. He tried to keep his composure but it was becoming more difficult.

"Mr. Frodo, I almost guarantee you will go back to something. You'll have me t'take care of you. We will figure out somethin' from there. I'm not lettin' y'go back to nothin'. It won't happen." Sam assured trying not to sound irritated. Frodo let out a sigh.

"Uncertainty is uncomforting." Frodo mumbled. He let himself fall to his blanket and he turned on his side.

"I'm sorry for complaining so much Sam. It's not fair to make you listen to my troubles. I feel I'm so flawed." Frodo admitted. Sam put his hands over the fire.

"It's quite alright Mr. Frodo. We all have troubles. You more than any of us. Y'have earned the right to complain. I don't want ye to bottle up your troubles. I figure it's not good for you." Sam said. Frodo felt so guilty. He couldn't keep his feelings bottled up any longer. He stood up and started pacing back and forth. He turned in Sam's direction. Sam looked up at him. He was nervous.

"Sam, I think I'm going to go for a walk." Frodo said hesitantly. He walked away quickly. He ran through the dry ground. The ground turned from grass into just dirt. He escaped quickly. He was so nervous. His heart was pounding out of his chest. He ran and suddenly tripped and fell to the ground face first. He did not move his head but he clenched the dirt in his hand. He was so frustrated. He let out a yell of anger. He had so many feelings to tell Sam but he couldn't. _Why? Why do I have to be in love with my dearest friend? I can't! It'll never happen. We will never happen. I need to get this out of my head. This cannot go on any longer. I can't be living this made up fantasy. This foolish idea that we have a future together we we don't. We can't. I need to let Sam go. _Those last words echoed in his mind. _I need to let Sam go. He needs to be free. I can't have him living this prison sentence. He's trapped to me. And unless I hurt him...he'll never let me go and move on. But this is my dear friend. I cannot break him. It would hurt too much. _Frodo lifted his head up.

"I can't have both. I need to let him go. He cannot be trapped within my life forever." Frodo said quavering. His throat was dry and it was hard to swallow. He was filled with sadness.

"If it's for the best...I must," Frodo said shedding tears, "I can't have him forever. It wouldn't have lasted long..." These words felt like daggers piercing his heart. He would hate being without Sam. But Sam needed to be free.

"I must tell him after Mordor. He can settle into a new life after this journey." Frodo said. He rested his head on the ground. He didn't move his body. He let his tears slip from his eyes to the ground below him. He breathed slowly, his chest expanding and contracting. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. In the morning, Sam came upon him and shook him awake. He opened his eyes and looked and saw Sam, Pippin, and Merry standing beside him. Frodo looked up at them with his red, teary eyes.

"Frodo, what on earth were y'doin in this dirt? Why were y'not at the campsite?" Pippin asked.

"And why are your eyes so red? Did you not sleep?" asked Merry. Merry held out his hand and helped Frodo to his feet.

"I went for a walk and I got so tired, I just laid down for a minute and then sleep took me. And no, I did not get much sleep." Frodo lied. The hobbits weren't convinced but didn't question him. They handed Frodo the water pack and a piece of sweet bread with some honey on it. Frodo ate it quickly and they started off. They walked across the dirt and came across grasslands again. After about three hours, they found a river. They decided this was the time to stop and bathe and refill their water packs. They saw hills in the distance and thought they would be getting close to Rivendell. They sat down and filled up their water packs. Frodo went up the river a ways and removed his clothes and went into the water. The water came up to his waist and was quite chilly. He shivered and splashed some water in his face. He also put his head underwater and soaked his hair to get some of dirt out of it. He came up and crossed his arms to conserve heat. His entire body was covered in goosebumps. He pulled his wet hair away from his face. He took a little handful of water and poured it over his face. He sighed out and waded himself out of the water. He grabbed his quilt from his bag and pulled it over his shoulders to dry himself. He sat down and closed his eyes. He breathed in and out from his mouth. He tried to focus on the sounds of nature. He didn't hear anyone nearby so he figured he could remain clotheless underneath his quilt. It kept him warm. His hands were shaking a little from the cool temperature of the water. He gripped tighter at the edges of the blanket and wrapped it around himself. He stretched his legs out from beneath it. He looked at his feet. He remembered how odd it was that men and elves wore shoes on their feet. _Why would one feel the need to cover their feet? _He thought. He thought it was useless. He liked being able to keep his feet free without restraint. He could feel everything beneath his feet. He especially enjoyed the dirt and grass underneath his feet. It was cool and damp. He didn't know why he enjoyed it so much but he did. Shoes seemed unnecessary. But he knew that men and elves were not as fortunate to be blessed with tough hobbit feet. They had delicate feet that could not hold up against rough terrain. He thought it was odd that men and elves were known for such glory and yet they could not hold up against such were not known for anything extraordinary yet they could walk through snow and rock and desert with no trouble. He wondered how hobbits had come to be. He chuckled softly to himself. He was always asking so many questions in his mind. When he was young, he used to ask Bilbo all these questions. The hobbits in Hobbiton used to think he was quite strange. They thought it was rather senseless.

"Why would one ask such odd questions? There is no such use to them!" They would say. Bilbo would shake his head and turn his back to the hobbits and answer Frodo's questions. Bilbo would explain his answers with stories of all kind. Frodo' eyes would widen and become filled with wonder and amazement. He was curious why all these unusual ideas would flood his mind. _Why do they matter? _He would ask himself. He hadn't a clue. They didn't really but he would always want to know. As he was sitting and drying, he heard voices close by. He heard the soft murmurs of Pippin and Merry. Merry was joking around with Pippin and they were both laughing heartily. He hoped they weren't coming to find him. He hadn't any clothes on and them stumbling upon him would be quite embarrassing. Funny enough, he didn't have any energy or will to put any clothes on. He just sat there; eyes glued to the water. He closed his eyes and tried to center himself and relax. It was quiet. So quiet, he could hear the water droplets on the tips of his hair dripping onto the stone behind him. No bird chirps or squirrel chatters were heard. He opened one eye. The silence was unsettling. He never liked complete silence. It usually didn't mean good things. He opened both eyes and looked up. The sky was gray but not dark. He turned his head to both sides and didn't see anything. Nothing was out of the ordinary. He stood up and wrapped the blanket around him and looked up. He looked a little frightened and worried. He heard a rustle in the bushes. He jerked his head.

"Is anyone there?" Frodo called out. No answer. He backed toward his bag and gripped Sting's handle. _Great, _He thought, _I'm going to be ambushed naked. _He pulled Sting in front of him and gripped the blanket as tight as he could. He heard more rustling in the trees across from the river.

"If someone is there, show yourself." He commanded fearfully. There was much more rustling of the leaves in the tree. He stood defensively with Sting pointed out. Suddenly, he saw two figures jump out of the tree.

"Frodo! There y'are! We were lookin' all over for you!" It was Pippin and Merry. He sighed with relief and set Sting down beside him.

"Why didn't you two say something? You both gave me a fright!" He said slightly angry. Pippin and Merry looked at each other.

"We didn't hear you. My apologies, we were really focused on collectin' these!" Pippin held up a bag of golden apples. Frodo marveled at the apples.

"Where did you get those?" He asked.

"We found a tree a ways back. We were up in that tree t'see if we could find anymore. Sadly, we couldn't. But, we have more food which is nice!" Merry said. Frodo searched behind Pippin and Merry.

"Where is Sam?" He asked. Pippin and Merry looked at each other again, then behind them. They looked a little worried and guilty.

"To be honest...I don't know." Merry said. "I thought you were looking after him Pip!"

"Me?" Pippin argued, "I was helpin' you pick apples! How could I watch Sam and pick apples." Frodo groaned and became frustrated. He turned around and threw his clothes on. He shoved past Pippin and Merry and started back off to where they decided to rest. He arrived and Sam was not there.

"Sam?" Frodo called out frantically. He took a step and stepped on something. He looked down and saw Sam's bag underneath his foot. It had been spilled out on the ground. All sorts of food and items were strewn over the campground. It looked like his bag had been ransacked by some sort of animal. Parts of food had been bitten and eaten. Frodo cared for none of this. He needed to know where Sam was. He jogged away from the campsite toward the trees in front of him. He called out for Sam over and over again. He heard nothing. He kept running forward and calling out, but to no avail. Pippin and Merry had followed him into the forest. They too were calling out into the dark to find Sam. They were all worried about where he was. Pippin and Merry had gathered everyone's stuff before they ran after Frodo. They figured they needed to find Sam, and wherever he was was where they would stay. They picked up some of the food that had not been touched by whatever animal had eaten it. They were afraid that Sam had gotten attacked by some wild animal. They weren't in the Shire anymore, who knows what wanders the forest? Frodo held Sting in his hand. He needed some sort of protection. He walked quite fast. He had no idea where he was going. The only thing he seemed to know was to walk forward. Something was just telling him to keep walking forward. He had no reason to protest against it so he decided to trust his instinct. Pippin and Merry followed closely behind him. They stumbled and tripped on rocks and tree roots everywhere. They could not see in the dark and the forest appeared to be much larger than it should be. The trees towered over them and plants covered every surface. Frodo paid no attention to them and kept his pace constant.


	16. Wounds and Tears

A few hours had passed and they finally came to an opening in the forest. Merry and Pippin were exhausted and sauntering behind Frodo. Frodo turned around.

"We need to keep moving! We cannot rest! I apologize but we have no clue what has happened to Sam. If it was some sort of animal that has taken him, which I dare not think about, we need to be quick and see if we can find him in case something horrible has happened to our dear friend." Frodo said hastily. Merry and Pippin straightened themselves up. They knew they could not complain. If something were to happen to Sam, they would feel awful about it. They retrieved their second winds and started off again. Three and a half hours had passed when they finally heard a groan. They ran toward the sound of the groan. They found Sam rested up against a tree. He was covered in deep scratches all over his body. Blood seeped from his wounds. Frodo threw Sting to the ground and kneeled in front of Sam.

"Sam! What has happened to you?" Frodo questioned worriedly. Sam couldn't speak. He gasped for air. His clothes were stained with red. His eyelids fluttered and his lungs sputtered. Frodo grabbed onto Sam. He ripped off parts of Sam's shirt and tied them tightly around his wounds. He held onto Sam's face. Sam's head bobbed forward.

"Sam, you must stay with me. Don't go toward the light. I know that light. You musn't go toward it do you understand me?" Frodo commanded. Sam gagged and coughed. Frodo put a piece of cloth in front of Sam's mouth. He lifted the cloth and saw he had coughed up blood. Sam's eyes started to close. Frodo started to panic.

"No...no Sam? Listen to me. Hear my voice and look at me." The color from Sam's face started to fade. He was a ghastly white.

"Sam, please look at me. You will be alright just don't go toward the light. Stay with me. I'm here with you, Sam. I can help you. Don't go toward the light I beg of you." Frodo coaxed. Sam's eyes fluttered and his muscles became limp. Frodo froze and his whole body became tense. A huge lump filled his throat and his stomach dropped. He had this wallowing feeling in his stomach.

"No, no no no no Sam." Frodo cried. Sam did not move. Pippin and Merry had not moved nor said a word but were standing very frightened and with tears in their eyes. Frodo shook Sam, desperate to have him wake up.

"Sam...please. I beg of you. Don't leave me. Don't leave me! You can't! You are all I have left!" Frodo cried out. Tears flooded his eyes and spilled out from the sides. He held Sam in his arms. He wailed out in pain. Everything seemed worthless now. It felt like the whole world had fallen down on him. He was numb with pain. He picked up Sam and placed him on his shoulder. He walked forward. Merry grabbed Frodo.

"Let go, Merry." Frodo ordered.

"Frodo..." Merry said tearfully.

"Let me go, Merry!" Frodo yelled. Pippin tried to take Sam from Frodo's arms. Frodo became defensive. Merry grabbed Frodo tightly while Pippin took Sam from Frodo's arms. Pippin placed Sam on the ground. Frodo yelled out angrily. Merry pulled him into his arms and would not let him go. He hugged him tightly. Frodo couldn't help but grab onto Merry's shoulders. He yelled out in pain. He had never cried so hard in his life. He couldn't manage without Sam. Sam was his world. Without Sam, there was nothing to live for. Nothing to go on for. An endless amount of tears coursed from his eyes. Merry and Pippin silently grieved. Frodo was angry that he had never told Sam how he felt about him. _He can't be dead. There's no way._ He thought. Everything felt so heavy now. Unbearably heavy. Like the whole world had been placed on his shoulders and he was stuck underneath it. His head leaned forward on Merry's shoulder. He couldn't pick his head up. Frodo fell to his knees. He could no longer carry his own weight. His eyes so red and full of tears. He couldn't breathe. His lungs contracted and did not allow for any air movement. Pippin sat down and finally released his sadness and started to cry. Merry leaned against a tree and let out heavy breaths. Tears dripped from his eyes. Frodo stared at the ground. He couldn't look at Sam. It was too painful. He couldn't admit to himself that Sam was gone. He spoke through his tears.

"There must be something we can do." Frodo whispered. It was all he could manage. His voice had been lost. There was no will to speak. To talk. To engage. Pippin and Merry looked up. Pippin sniffled. Merry walked over to Frodo and placed his hand on Frodo's shoulder.

"There is nothing to do my friend. All we can do is take his body to the elves to be properly buried." Merry said sadly. These words stung Frodo. So much pain. All these feelings were just piling on top of each other. The three hobbits heard a horse galloping nearby. They looked up and saw a white horse and a caped figure. The horse approached them. The horse stopped abruptly when the person saw the hobbits. The rider dismounted and ran to the hobbits. The person's hood fell from the person's head revealing it to be Arwen. Arwen ran to Sam's lifeless body. Her dark hair fell over her shoulders. Her eyes filled with sorrow and despair. She looked at Sam's wounds. She saw that the blood still seeped from them into the cloths that Frodo had tied around them. She turned back to Pippin, Merry and Frodo.

"Do you know of how this happened?" She asked quietly and solemnly. They all shook their heads. She turned back to face Sam and stroked his face to see if he would awake. She placed her head against his chest. She heard no beat of his heart nor felt the rise and fall of his chest. Tears filled her eyes. She stood up and looked at the hobbits.

"I am afraid your friend has passed on from beyond us. I cannot aid him. The damage is beyond my help. I have little hope that my father will be able to help. We will bring your friend Sam's body to Rivendell to see if my father can aid to him in anyway." She said quietly. Pippin fell into Merry's arms. He choked sobs into Merry's shoulder. Merry began to cry again as well. Frodo's eyes remained red and tear-ridden. He was trying to breathe. Everything was not soaking in. His heart was so filled with sadness. All he felt was numb and cold. He felt nothing else. It was as if all the happiness had been sucked out of the world. Arwen gathered Sam into her arms and placed him on her horse with her. She mounted on her horse.

"Rivendell is only half a days ride on horse. Continue that way through the forest and you shall arrive there by tomorrow night. I will let the elves tend to him. I give many apologies for not having other horses to bring you to Rivendell. I am very grateful I found you all. I bid you condolences and will see you soon my dear friends." She galloped off out of the forest with Sam. Frodo stood up and saw Sam's blonde curls bouncing with each stride. He knew there was no life in him anymore. More tears escaped from his eyes. Life was gone. How was he to continue onto Mordor? He could never go back to Hobbiton alone. There was no one to spend the rest of his days with. He needed to say his goodbye's to Sam, although in his heart he knew he would not be able to say goodbye. Merry and Pippin wiped their eyes and placed everything in their bags. Pippin reached his hand out to Frodo. Frodo looked up tearfully. He pulled himself up with Pippin's help. He and the other two hobbits started off for Rivendell. Every minute of traveling was dark and seemed to take an eternity. Each step didn't seem to make any such difference in the distance from Rivendell. It seemed as if their destination would never arrive.


	17. Shattered (end of part 1)

After a long and perilous day, they finally arrived in Rivendell. It was night, and the stars were out. The moon was darkly hidden behind clouds. The three hobbits arrived and they saw Arwen waiting for them. She ran to them and kissed each one on the head.

"My friends, my people have worked without break for the last day and a half. They tended to Sam's wounds. They tried a special elixir on him to see if it would bring him to life again. Sam's heart is beating. Very slowly. His wounds are very deep. He has lost all form of consciousness. There is a very likely chance he will die. We will keep him well as long as we can. He cannot go on this journey of which you are partaking in. He must stay here. My heart goes out to you. We cannot predict what will become of your dear friend Sam, but it does not look in his favor. His wounds might be beyond our ability to aid him. I am sorry." Arwen spoke softly. Frodo's head was looking at the ground. He could not look up. He was trying to keep himself from crying.

"Do y'have any idea of what could have happened to him, Lady Arwen?" Merry asked. Arwen looked down and sighed gently.

"He was most likely attacked by lingering darkness. Evilness still lingers in dark places. It may not look like much, but it can cause much damage. We think Sam stumbled upon a collection of it. It acts like a wild beast, uncontrollable and dangerous. It must have vanished after it had away with Sam. There is no trace of darkness on him, but we have seen these types of wounds before and they can only be found from victims of darkness attacks." Arwen said. Merry and Pippin looked gravely at the ground. Arwen bent down to Frodo who hadn't said a word. She put her hands on his shoulders. He looked into her blue eyes, tears in his eyes.

"Dark places come into our lives, and they may seem to take an eternity to pass, but they do. Death may come but in it brings new beginnings. I know your feelings for Sam. I know you are hurting very much dear Frodo. I cannot tell of what is to come next. I do not know whether it brings light or more darkness. I do know that whatever comes will eventually bring light to your life Frodo Baggins. I see brightness in your life. I see peace. I see wonder and merriment. With whom I do not know, but it is bright. Do not fret. You will find what you are meant to have soon." Arwen said hopefully. Tears dripped from Frodo's eyes. Arwen kissed Frodo's forehead and wiped the tears from his eyes with her thumbs motherly. She had the smallest of a smile.

"Whether your friend Sam passes on or lives, he remains with you for the rest of your days. I can assure you that," she said. She stood up.

"Follow me if you wish to see your friend. His wounds have been patched, but he still looks very sickly." The hobbits slowly followed Lady Arwen to the room where Frodo had woken up when he had been tended from a wound from the sword of a Ringwraith. Sam laid in a small bed. His head rested to his left side, eyes closed. His skin was pale white and a bit translucent. He had become so thin, even thinner than Frodo. His fingers were bony and brittle. All the color from him had been washed out from bleeding out. His lips were a pale blue and cracked and dry. His blonde hair was dry and frail. He had many stitches and bandages where he had gotten cut. The hobbits stared sadly at their weak friend. Arwen had a sad expression on her face as well. She felt pity for all the hobbits. She hadn't gotten to know Sam very well, but she felt much sympathy for them. She used to fear the day that she would have to watch her lover Aragorn die and she live on for the rest of eternity. She quietly walked away from the room to give the hobbits a moment to grieve. Pippin and Merry could not bear to look at their friend, so they too followed Arwen out and began to cry outside. Frodo's eyes were sad and his bright blue eyes were yet again filled with tears. He walked over to Sam's bed and sat on the corner of it. He picked up Sam's right hand and held it in his own. It felt cold and light. Frodo's heart sank from how much weight Sam had lost. He began to speak.

"Sam, do you remember those days back in the Shire before the journey? Especially the night of Bilbo's one-hundred and eleventh birthday? It was fall and it was still quite warm outside. The grasses were still very green but were beginning to lose their hue. The wildflowers hadn't started to wilt yet. The sun shown brightly in the open blue sky. Do you remember that night? You were watching Rosie Cotton dance and wishing you had the courage to dance with her. I told you to go up and dance with her. You were so nervous. So scared out of your wits," Frodo chuckled at this with tears in his eyes.

"You were always so worried that you wouldn't end up with her. That she would chase down some other hobbit that wasn't meant for her, that wasn't good enough for her. Sam, I may not have known it yet but I should not have told you to go dance with Rosie. I was worrying about myself, but I hadn't even started exploring who I was suppose to develop into. You...you helped me so much. So much more than I could ever express to you. You turned me into the person that I can be proud of. You didn't let the Ring take me. I'm so sorry for any days that I lashed out at you. That wasn't me and those days still haunt me. Please, forgive me." A lump welled up in Frodo's throat, making it difficult for him to speak.

"Sam, you were the most honest and kindest person I know. I could have never been the person I am today without your help. And I know you don't think much of yourself. You don't think you're anything big. You idolize me and think I'm an amazing hero. That I'm an inspiration. Well, I see it just the other way. I was just the hobbit that carried the Ring to Mordor. Nothing more. You were the one that saved me. Saved me from creatures of all sorts and well...saved me from myself." He gripped Sam's hand tightly as he choked out the last few words.

"Sam...I...I never told you this. But, if I don't get to see you again or ever have the opportunity..." His throat closed. He shut his eyes fighting the tears back. It was so hard but he needed to say it.

"Sam...I owe everything to you. And Sam, Samwise Gamgee...I really...I really do love you. I must not have known it at first. But I'm sure of it now. I've loved you ever since our journey to Mordor. I love you. I don't know why it took me so long to be able to say that to you, but I do. Please, I beg of you not to leave me. I cannot bear the idea of living without you. There are so many things. So many feelings and thoughts I have not told you because I am afraid. I know you do not understand and it makes you feel hurt to find out I am secluded but it's my nature. I can't naturally trust anyone but you, and even sometimes it hurts to reveal myself. But, I promise I will try harder. I promise Sam. I promise I will finish this journey. I know you would want me to. I will cross a thousand lands. Just please...don't leave me." Tears coursed down Frodo's face. It became hard for him to see.

"Please don't leave me Samwise Gamgee. You are my Sam. Please...don't leave me." His voiced wavered. He leaned down and kissed Sam's forehead.

"Sam, I may not ever get this opportunity to have to alive again so, please don't be alarmed." Frodo moved his head down to above Sam's lips. He tilted Sam's head slightly upward. He had his hand behind Sam's neck. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Sam's. He remained for a few seconds, then gently released. He felt none of Sam's breath on his lips. For all he knew, Sam was barely breathing. He sniffled and wiped the tears from his face. He let go of Sam's hand and stood up. He walked out of the room and turned the corner to see Arwen and Merry and Pippin standing down the hallway. Arwen was holding Pippin's hand and Merry was sitting on the ground, head burrowed in his knees. Frodo approached them. Merry looked up. Frodo stood in front of them.

"I must finish this journey of which I started. I know I cannot bring Sam with me, so I will go alone." Frodo said. Merry and Pippin looked sadly at Frodo.

"Frodo, we will accompany you on this journey. You cannot go alone to Mordor." Merry said. Frodo shook his head.

"I cannot permit you to come along on this journey with me. It is far to perilous. Besides, I would rather you stay here with Sam and see what comes of him. You will find peace here and grieving will be easier if it's necessary." Frodo said. Merry and Pippin still did not looked convinced.

"Frodo, how do you expect us to let you go on your way to Mordor alone?" Pippin asked.

"I do not expect you to, but you must. I need to go alone. I need to grieve alone. I do not wish to trouble you with my issues." Frodo said. Pippin and Merry did not agree but nodded their heads. They knew arguing would be no use. Arwen looked upon Frodo.

"That is a long journey, Frodo. I do not think you should go alone, but alone you will go. I reckon trying to convince you to go with a companion shall be unsuccessful. There will be many tribulations. The road will be dangerous. You will find many members of your old Fellowship along the way to guide you. I beseech you to let them aid you if you find them!" Arwen advised. Frodo nodded.

"We will let you know how Sam is doing. We will have ways of contacting you." Arwen said. She held out Sting and his small pack. There was plenty of new food and water in his pack along with his hobbit cape and his quilt. He put his cape on and pulled his pack onto his back. Frodo was starting to leave when Merry pulled him aside.

"Frodo, do you really think it is best for you to be traveling on your own while you are grieving? I reckon it is a bit soon t'be journeyin' off after your dearest friend has been stricken severely." Merry said worriedly.

"Sam would not want me to stop this journey because of him. He would want me to keep going. He would feel guilty if I were to stay here and put off my journey for much longer. My heart aches very much. Leaving him is like a dagger in my heart and being without him will be very painful. But I must do this." Frodo said.

"I do not agree with you, but I will let you go. Please Frodo, I beg of you not to get hurt or injured. Be careful please." Merry warned. Frodo nodded. Merry hugged his cousin tightly.

"I will miss you a lot my cousin. I will make sure they tell you new news of Sam. Pippin and I will watch him everyday. I will also make sure Bilbo knows you were here. He will be very disappointed to have not seen you. I will give him your best." Merry said.

"Thank you, Meriadoc." Frodo said. Merry waved and Frodo started off. Arwen waited by the exit of Rivendell. She placed her hand on his shoulder and gave him once last piece of advice before his farewell.

"Do not be taken by the grief or darkness. You are stronger than you know Frodo Baggins. I believe in you and I know you can prevail. Take this." She handed him a glass filled with a bright, clear liquid.

"I know of your shoulder pain in the forest that one night. Someone told me of it. Drink a little of this when you are very sad or you feel your shoulder start to hurt. It should help. This is enough for the entire journey so fear not of it running out." Arwen said. She once more, kissed Frodo on the forehead and set him on his way. Frodo walked ahead on his own. He had no idea what was to come, but he knew in his heart, he was afraid of everything that would encounter his path.

END OF PART 1


End file.
